Losing IT

I lost it today. COMPLETELY. LOST. IT.

Not in a mom’s-gone-crazy-screaming-mad-ugly-crying-throwing-stuff kind of way, but in a my-kids-are-growing-up-so-fast-and-I’m-afraid-I’m-gonna-miss-so-much-while-we’re-gone kind of way.

My heart is wrecked, guys. Why is it so hard to watch our kids grow up and become such awesome little people? And now, we’re traveling, the first time I’ve been away for so long from these sweet little faces, and it’s gut wrenching for me.

The ugly tears are already falling and I still have a month to go before we leave. (Insert eye roll emoji here.)

We leave Nampula in a month to start our journey to the US for a few months. We’ll spend Christmas with the kids here, enjoy our annual beach trip the very beginning of the year, and then we’ll head down to the capital city, Maputo, and head out to the US around mid-January.

Fatima is the girl in the very front, in a purple shirt. This is the first time I ever saw her.

And while this will only be the 2^nd time I’ve been back to the US in 5 years, and Jadon’s first time in 5 years, and Jo’s first time EVER, it doesn’t get any easier for me.

Of course, there are parts that are so exciting. I’ll get to meet my niece for the first time, and all my siblings will get to meet Jo for the first time, and spend time with her grandparents and even her great-grandmas! (What blessed kids I have who still have their great-grannies around!)

But I’m a mom. And these are my babies. I lost my cool this morning because I noticed that Fatima is growing up REALLY fast and she needs to start wearing a bra and all her clothes are getting too small.

I had a little sports bra I’d been saving for her and when I gave it to her to try on, I could see that she understood that she IS growing up, and she lit up with a huge, toothless grin, thanks to all her late-falling teeth.

And Fatima today, almost 13...

They’re becoming young women before my eyes and it’s hard to accept sometimes that I’ll miss some of their important moments. They may not be life-altering moments, but I don’t want to miss even one minor event.

And that’s the hard part about living between 2 worlds. There is a constant push and pull between wanting to see your people and be a part of the important and beautiful and tough stuff going on in their lives, and being exactly where God created you to be, doing exactly what He created you to do.

So I’ll try to mop up the tears that are running down my red cheeks, and I’ll get it together so the next 4 weeks are full of such awesome memories for all of us that these will carry us through until we’re back home with each other.

He Needs You, We Need You

I’m not sure how we arrived where we are today, but our FIRST little guy, Ali, turned 9 today. After almost 3 years with Ali, I still can’t imagine how different his life would be had his uncle not brought him to us…

When I first heard about Ali, they said he was a small, 5 year old boy who had lost his mom when he was just 2-3 days old. He’d lived with his grandma and his dad rarely visited him, if at all. No one knew where his dad was living when his grandma starting to get sick.

Soon, grandma wasn’t able to take care of the kids she was trying, simply, just to feed. Ali’s uncle explained he had 3 kids of his own and was caring for Ali’s half brother and he just couldn't cope with one more child.

The first time I saw Ali, he looked like a 3 year old, and I’m being generous. His feet were so tiny. He couldn’t really walk in the little flip flops he was wearing, and getting him to walk just up the 2 stairs into the kitchen was nearly impossible.

And his belly…oh…He had a HUGE belly due to lack of nutrition. And it was bad. He was constantly saying his stomach hurt after eating. We had to try a lot of different things to make sure he didn’t vomit or have diarrhea but eventually, just 2-3 months after arriving, he was doing so well.

Ali has always felt like my little baby, even as he grows and will be going into grade 3 at the beginning of the year. The time has really passed so incredibly fast, and part of me wishes for the days when Jadon used to carry him everywhere like he was a baby. And he really was. He was fragile and very undernourished. And God brought him here, to us…to love and care for.

I’m ugly crying as I type this. I love this boy with my whole heart. I don’t want to think about what situation he would be in if God hadn’t opened every door for this home to be here, at that exact moment when he needed care. His family tried but when they can’t even feed themselves, what do we do?

I have so many mixed feelings about orphan care, but I can tell you one thing: there is a great need. Even children who have one parent are hardly eating, let alone a child who is being cared for by an aunt or grandma. The situation in our area is so different from even the southern part of the country.

Because of people who believed in this crazy idea, crazy plan to come and be parents to the parent-less kids in our community, Ali has a mom, a dad, many uncles, aunts and brothers & sisters. We wouldn’t have arrived here without your help, and for that, we are truly grateful.

As Giving Tuesday approaches on December 3rd, a day of global awareness & giving for organizations like ours, we implore you to think about kids like Ali – where would he be? Where would he be today without the help of precious partners like you?

My heart breaks to think of where he may be, but I also rejoice because God knew how things would end, and because of the love of a few people, just like you, Ali is having a great 9^th birthday.

Thank you seems so insignificant but really – look what you guys have done! God has used you to see this little man through the last 3 years, and I know beyond that. You all are incredible people of love. Thank you.

Will you help us continue to love and help kids like Ali? Will you help us now, today? Sign up to become a monthly sponsor before the end of the month and Ali will color a picture just for you…Come on now, what else do you need?! Do it already.

Lots of love,

Laura and Ali and the GANG