Let Her Die...

Close your eyes. Come on...just for a minute. 

Good. Now that your eyes are closed...

Think back to the moment you were most terrified as a child. Whether you were scared of the dark or fell and broke a bone, think about how you felt in that moment. And instead of hugging you, comforting you, scooping you up and getting you to the hospital, making sure you are safe, imagine the adults around you saying, "Let her die."

No hugs, no bandaids, no trip to the hospital, no comfort. 

The people you've always trusted to care for you and keep you safe now have the audacity to utter those words...

This is the story of one the kiddos we encountered last week. For her safety, we will call her Leah. 

Leah's life was recently turned upside down when her own mother murdered Leah's grandmother. Once it was discovered that her mother was the culprit, the family was, for obvious reasons, distraught. Leah doesn't know her father and has no relationship with him, so when her mother was arrested and awaiting trial, Leah was left with her older brother to care for her. 

Leah is 7 years old and her brother is 14. If I could show you a photo of her brother, he looks to be about 9. Leah is small for 7 and is quite thin. They clearly were not in the best care even prior to this situation, but as the story progressed, they both continued to decline. 

No one knows how Leah and her brother survived the last few months. The siblings of Leah's mother, and the rest of her mother's family, did not want anyone to help or care for the children, demanding that Leah and her brother suffer & die for their mother's actions. 

I know death (murder, actually) can bring out the worst in people. As hard as I try, I just can't seem to understand what would compel someone to say, well...just let them die. 

I know there are cultural components at play, some things I could never understand, but at the end of the day, taking 2 lives because one life was taken doesn't make for any kind of restitution. This would only make things even worse. 

Through out this awful story, there were family members who tried to help. Eventually, they were able to get the boy with his father and hid the little girl. Eventually, she made her way to us, until the family was able to arrange a family member to care for Leah. 

We only had 3 days with Leah but she will forever leave an imprint on our hearts. She arrived off a bus after 10pm, and was clearly exhausted. She was ready to be somewhere and stay for a while. She spoke a small amount of Portuguese and was afraid to leave my side the first night. When we arrived home, she saw the kids but everyone was asleep. She asked to sleep in my room, and I happily agreed to have a roomy for the night. 

Leah adjusted quickly, and was pleased to see lots of new friends the following morning. She loved to play with the dolls and toys in the girls' bedroom, and she enjoyed being close to the youngest kids. 

Leah left to go live with her forever family after 3 short days with us. We were sad to see her go, but we know where she is and will be checking up on her often. She was happy to people she knows as family and they are well equipped to care for her. 

While her story is still being written, we are so thankful for the way Leah's story has started. 

Thank you for helping us stand in the middle and link this precious child to her family. We can't do this without your partnership. 

Hugs, 

Laura

Director @ HFTN

Home Sweet H.O.M.E.

Chirping birds in the morning right outside my window, the creamy orangesicle color that wafts into my window as the sun slowly rises, the giggling of mischievous kiddos that know they aren’t supposed to be outside just yet, the subtle smell of a fire starting from the neighbor’s house, the faint crying of a little baby, and the quiet chatter between families at the houses directly next to our compound. 

The sounds and smells of home had somewhat escaped my memory with being away for over a year. When I arrived for a month-long visit in January, I was reminded of all the sounds and smells of this place we love and call home. While many things have changed while we were away, those sounds have not, and they bring comfort in a strange way that I can’t seem to explain. 

 

While being home has been like a dream come true, there has definitely been a period of adjustment. Like getting sick….after all the traveling, we had to stay a few days in the capital city because of documents we need to live here. While it was smooth sailing from the time we arrived, and I am SO grateful for that, we were exhausted. Sleeping on a plane is uncomfortable and awkward and I rarely do any sleeping. The change of environment, change in diet and the 8 time zones we jumped through, put us all on the fast track to feeling crummy. 

Church at home before they reopened 

Jadon has had a weird, very dry cough since right before we left. We’ve tried natural remedies and medications, and he’s still fighting it off. Jo happened to get a lovely dose of blistering soars and we have no idea where they came from. I was reading that sometimes mosquitos or flies can cause different illnesses, blistering soars being one of them. The little babe has been fighting to not scratch her little blisters for about 10 days, but thankfully, all but a few have completely dried up. I was also advised by a friend to iron every single item of clothing she has, as well as her bedsheets, and see if that helps! I have a lot of ironing to do tomorrow….

Jo's first day of preschool

Other adjustments are just typical things – remembering how to load the pre-paid credit on my phone and how to do the same on the pre-paid electricity remote for the whole house. Helping with meals is a little different as the older kids are extremely helpful and do most of the cooking in the evening. My mama heart tries not to intervene too much because I want them to be independent and they also want to show what they’ve learned. The girls have learned how to bake beautiful (and yummy) cakes, and they can cook most of the traditional dishes we all enjoy. I am extremely proud of them all. 

The kids are incredible, by the way. Have I said that yet?! Each of our kiddos can read, write and is speaking a little bit of English! I am so thoroughly impressed. I love them each so much. To see their different personalities come out and watch them discover something they are truly passionate about is one of my greatest joys as a parent. Watching their eyes light up when they grasp a concept, or, they find something that truly excites them.

Jadon jumped right into school a few days after we arrived home, and he has been adjusting fairly well. His 7^thgrade expectations are far different than the 5^th grade expectations he remembers. He is trying to get adjusted and will hopefully continue to do so during this term. The school days are long for him, and the bus ride to and from school is more than 2 hours round trip. I know he is exhausted when he gets home, and he’s doing so well thus far. 

 

All preschools were closed until the President reopened them on September 27^th. Jo has been trying to adjust and it has been wonderful for her but also challenging. She cries most days for a few minutes, about halfway through her school day. She attends school from 7:45am-12pm and then has a long bus ride home. At least now she sleeps extremely well, and she falls asleep in about 30 seconds. She had a hard time at first sleeping in her own bed, a long-time struggle for her, but now she sleeps through the night in her own bed! 

Our staff did an amazing job while we were gone, and as soon as I have the chance to feel like I have my legs back under me, I’m going to make sure they each have a chance to get a little break. They’ve earned more than that and they deserve a little time to relax. They are each truly an amazing blessing to the kids and to me. I enjoy working with each of them and pray God will give us lots of years together to care for as many kiddos as we can. 

 

We would love your prayers as we continue to navigate the rest of this year. We live in strange times, and yet, we have a God who loves us so much that He cares about EVERY. SINGLE. LITTLE. REQUEST. we may have. We are trusting God to restore our energy, continue to provide for us, and to continue to keep us all as healthy as possible. 

Thank you for walking alongside us during this incredible journey. 

 

Do something fun today with someone you love! 

 

Laura and Everyone at HFTN

 

Can YOU Go Without?

When I'm in Mozambique, coffee shops with "to go" cups don't really exist in my area, so I usually have coffee at home, thanks to the always available Ricoffy - the best instant coffee on that side of the world.  

When I'm state-side, my favorite coffee places are local coffee shops. Living in Northern Colorado right now, I love the variety of coffee shops that we have. Coffee is definitely one of my favorite drinks, especially when it's cold outside and the need for caffeine is extremely high first thing in the morning. And let's face it - life gets busy - so sometimes it's coffee out and lunch out, especially when I'm working. 

I think it's safe to say I spend money on stuff I could take care of at home, that we already have. Coffee included! 😁 I think this is something most of us have in common - we get busy and we have to keep going so we eat on the go, drink on the go, and sometimes spend money without really thinking about it, all in the name of the game to keep going. 

My habits have made me reconsider my actions & spending, and start taking control of where my money goes. I want my spending to reflect my values. 

Imagine this - we are currently working on creating a school for our children in Mozambique that will meet their uniques needs. And it's a big undertaking, and I often wonder - what would going without a $5 coffee REALLY accomplish in getting the school built? This very question really opened my eyes...

If I took just 3 days each week and skipped my morning coffee outing, that would be an average of about $15 - if I invested that $15 into our school project, I could help buy almost 2 sacks of cement. Those 2 sacks of cement could make almost 100 blocks to help create the building where our kids will learn and thrive, at their own pace, with more one on one attention, and a much greater chance of being successful at school and in life. 

WOW. MIND BLOWN! 

If just 50 people could go without 3 of their favorite coffee drinks for ONE week, we would have 3/4 of the blocks needed to build the school. Incredible how something so small can make such a MAGNIFICENT difference if we link arms and work together. 

So I have a proposal....For the month of May, will you join us for a "31 DAYS WITHOUT..." campaign? We'll send out an idea every day with how you can do without something simple, small, and mostly insignificant, and turn it into something LIFE CHANGING. 

Link arms with us, and let's get to work! Our children deserve a shot at life, with an education that meets their specific needs, that helps them to overcome the challenges they face due to past trauma & past experiences that have negatively impacted their ability to learn. 

We will have a sponsor for each week of May who will help to match your donation and make your lack of coffee dates or dinner dates even MORE worthwhile!  

Watch for an important update in the next week with information on how to pledge, text to give, or Venmo  your life-giving support for "31 DAYS WITHOUT." Like, comment and share on your social media and let's get the word out about how we can all do SOMETHING to give the beautiful gift of life-giving education. 

Can't wait to link arms & GO WITHOUT for the month of May!

Laura & All of us @ Heart for the Needy

 

A Few Days Can Change Everything

This time of year often makes me ugly cry, way too much, because I think about how hopeless all of Jesus' followers must have felt. Three DAYS is a long time to way for many life altering events - test results for possible cancer diangosis; a partner asking for a few days to decide IF they can move forward in a marriage; a loved one who has gone missing and the search is on...all of these circumstances make my eyes start to tear, and yet, nothing makes my chest feel so tight and weepy that I can hardly breathe as when I think about how Jesus' people felt the 2 days before Easter. 

Could you even imagine - you doubted whether this man was for real, and then when you SAW with your OWN EYES that he is legitimately everything he said he is - and then he tells you he'll be betrayed, he washes your feet, you share a meal together, and then he IS betrayed by one of the men who ATE with you all, one of the men who had his feet washed by JESUS himself...and then he dies the most unthinkable, gruesome death, and he is suddenly just GONE. Dead. He is no more. 

I can't imagine that feeling. I have lost grandperns and enve a childhood friend when I was young, but I have never had such a tragic loss as losing a parent, a child, a sibling, etc. I have never known that depth of pain. And while I can only imagine that feeling, I am completely overwhelmed and almost distraught when I think about how those people much have felt - how they struggled with doubt and to understand the purpose of it all, how they must have felt completely helpless, almost as if their world was about to end... 

The day after Jesus' death must have felt like a bad dream, as though each person was trying to remember the REAL details of what had happened the day before. And at the end of their thoughts, they remembered what Jesus had told them - on the 3rd day, he would RISE up. I can't fathom how one would feel, simultaneously, the greatest despair and the greatest hope. But I suppose that is how many of us feel about our lives. Many of us experience such despair that we don't remember what it is to have HOPE in anything. 

 The last year has been extremely difficult for myself on a deep and very personal level for many reasons. So many adjustments to make, so many issues to work through, so many hurts to heal, so much work to do on MYSELF and so much to think about for the future. Some days were impossible to pray, as I felt so broken and hurt, so angry and overhelmed, judeged and unworthy - filthy. There were days where I wasn't sure how to put one foot in front of the other, but the HOPE that tomorrow wouldn't be as hard as the present day got me to hold out for the next day. 

For Jesus' followers, and even his greatest enemies and doubters, the third day was a day everyone held their breath, to find out if they had been deceived by a great teacher & prophet, or if it was possible they actually encountered the SON of GOD. On that 3rd and final day, those that followed Jesus finally SAW that it wasn't all for nothing. There was a purpose, a reason, a moment that changed the course of life and humanity. 

I pray that if you feel like all is lost, like there is no hope for your situation, whatever you are going through, let me tell you from experience my friend, there is still hope even when you think it's over, when you've tried it all.

I am so incredibly grateful for the beauty that comes from our pain. This is onf of those things that makes us uniquely huma. And I am thankful for a God who keeps His promises, just like He did for 3 days, so many years ago. And those promises don't stop there. We are so loved and adored, wanted and desired. I know a big, powerful God who may not be the judgemental, legalistic entity so many of us have known before. He is powerful yet gentle, truthful but kind, loving and wants what is best for each of us. I hope this Easter Sunday brings you peace and hope that so much can change in just a few days. 

Happy EASTER, 

 Laura & Everyone here @ Heart for the Needy

Thirteen Kids, Two Worlds, One Mama

Four weeks in Mozambique feels like a minute and a lifetime, simultaneously. The amounts of giggles and the number of times I’ve heard “mom,” make up a euphoric cloud that has been following me around, along with the cloud of jet lag that I never seemed to fully shake. COVID has really jacked up my plans - we tried to take the kids to the beach my first week here and then the beaches were closed by the president, along with gyms or any other recreational activities. Closing the beaches seemed a little strange to me, as the beaches in Mozambique are not like those of Florida or California - few people are there to rest and relax. The majority of people at the beaches in Northern Mozambique are there for their own livelihood - to fish, find clams or just find their own lunch or dinner. We were blessed to have about 2 days at the beach, and we were honestly exhausted afterwards. The kids wanted to stay for another day or two to enjoy the AC and the change of environment. We made the most of our annual outing, and we were privileged to rest, watch a few movies, play with the kids, and enjoy some fresh fish.

Before we left for the beach, I was overjoyed to celebrate Marieta’s 13th birthday. She is such a sweet kid - loving, calmer than the others, quieter, and she definitely became a mama’s girl over the last 2 years. I know she has probably the hardest time when I am not here, only because she needs that daily affection and reassurance from the one she knows as her mama. I don’t have a “favorite” child, but Marieta definitely makes my heart ache to come home. She makes me feel like she won’t be okay without me, even though we both know that is not true. She holds a special place in my heart. Most people dismiss her as less than because of her left eye - she is blind in her left eye - and has very limited vision in her right eye. But I know better…she is one of the smartest, most compassionate 13 year old girls I have ever met. She has a level of kindness that I have never experienced, a level of patience I desire to have, and a level of joy that makes me smile anytime I see her.

With the usual minor problems (and sometimes, major problems) in a 3rd world country, I had plenty of running around to do to fix documents, rectify problems and get back to being in good standing as far as the children’s home goes. There is always, always, always, ALWAYS something to do. In a world where paper is king, and almost nothing is digital, the running around and the number of offices and people that are involved to have a simple piece of paper is quite exhausting. But it’s always well worth the trouble.

Between the busy-ness and the running around, we found ways to fit good quality fun into our days, too. Whether it was swimming in the pool down the road, playing soccer outside, racing on the playground or just doing simple tasks like cooking meals together, each day was extremely special to me. It didn’t matter if it was plain old ordinary, I know we enjoyed certain moments every day, especially me! We celebrated our youngest (and newest) kiddo’s birthday, Sara, last week. The way her eyes lit up was something I’ll never forget. The buzz in the house when a cake was brought home for her was almost too much for her to bare! We didn’t even make to dinner time and cake was eaten shortly after lunch.

All of the joyful and special moments are running through my mind as I write this. In less than 8 hours, I’ll be on a plane headed to Kenya, and then France and then the US. I will leave behind these little and big kiddos, who I adore. The ache in my chest and the thought of saying goodbye feels like a dull dagger being driven into my heart. I feel as though I’m toggling between two worlds and it has become exhausting for me. And let me just say - I know what here are thinking - this is a first world problem. And you’re right - it is. I have the privilege to travel here and be here. And certainly, there are awful things going on in the world right now, and I have no right or reason to complain, but this living between two worlds is becoming impossible for me. I long for my kids here, for my family in the US, and to be in 2 places at once. However, when I am in Mozambique, the ache in my chest almost disappears because I know my family is behind me and they also want me to be here. They know my heart belongs in Mozambique but it is ripped out of my chest every time I have to leave. And then what? Back to the normal daily ins and outs of working, trying to make a difference, while caring for J and Jo, trying to be a good house-mate to my brother and sister-in-law, be a good auntie to my niece, Hannah, and continue to prepare for an unknown future in this insane world.

Somehow, in all of the dancing along the line of these very different worlds, I find peace, solitude, joy, an enormous amount of gratitude, and my Savior. I have nothing to grumble or worry about and I hope that only humble thankfulness comes from my words and my heart. I am forever grateful for these precious 4 weeks that I’ve had with the kids, and I feel like it will never come to an end while it is also rushing to a close right before my very eyes. Regardless of how I feel, I will be grateful for the time I’ve had this year. The future is unknown, and I don’t know when I will get to hug them, hold them again, but I have hope they are each in very good hands and are loved beyond any earthly measure.

The New "Normal"

 We know that "normal" has a different meaning for everyone, especially right now. Our new normal consists of a few things, including educating the kids at home, wearing masks everywhere, and trying to keep ourselves busy. To be honest, there is always something to do around the house or for the kids. And we're grateful for all of you and your support over this last year, considering this has not been a wonderful year for so many. 

We are grateful that part of life continues to be mostly normal. The kids need to eat, the kids need to DO something each day, and they need to stay busy or they get bored. Thanks to a friend, the kids have been learning to sew for the last month. Each child can make basic pants and shirt now. That is only after one month! They are learning other important life skills that are valid as well, including cooking, caring for different animals like our dogs and a few chickens, and learning how to stay on task to get their school work finished at home, in a new environment. 

All of the kids have done so well and we are so proud of them. We are grateful for the continued support as we learn to navigate what the rest of 2020 could throw at us. But in all things, we thank God for his grace and provisions. 

We will continue to work with the kids, engage with them and help them in all the ways we can! We may have some exciting news for you soon...Please stay tuned!!

God Bless You All, 

Gildo - Interim Director      

Losing IT

I lost it today. COMPLETELY. LOST. IT.

Not in a mom’s-gone-crazy-screaming-mad-ugly-crying-throwing-stuff kind of way, but in a my-kids-are-growing-up-so-fast-and-I’m-afraid-I’m-gonna-miss-so-much-while-we’re-gone kind of way.

My heart is wrecked, guys. Why is it so hard to watch our kids grow up and become such awesome little people? And now, we’re traveling, the first time I’ve been away for so long from these sweet little faces, and it’s gut wrenching for me.

The ugly tears are already falling and I still have a month to go before we leave. (Insert eye roll emoji here.)

We leave Nampula in a month to start our journey to the US for a few months. We’ll spend Christmas with the kids here, enjoy our annual beach trip the very beginning of the year, and then we’ll head down to the capital city, Maputo, and head out to the US around mid-January.

Fatima is the girl in the very front, in a purple shirt. This is the first time I ever saw her.

And while this will only be the 2^nd time I’ve been back to the US in 5 years, and Jadon’s first time in 5 years, and Jo’s first time EVER, it doesn’t get any easier for me.

Of course, there are parts that are so exciting. I’ll get to meet my niece for the first time, and all my siblings will get to meet Jo for the first time, and spend time with her grandparents and even her great-grandmas! (What blessed kids I have who still have their great-grannies around!)

But I’m a mom. And these are my babies. I lost my cool this morning because I noticed that Fatima is growing up REALLY fast and she needs to start wearing a bra and all her clothes are getting too small.

I had a little sports bra I’d been saving for her and when I gave it to her to try on, I could see that she understood that she IS growing up, and she lit up with a huge, toothless grin, thanks to all her late-falling teeth.

And Fatima today, almost 13...

They’re becoming young women before my eyes and it’s hard to accept sometimes that I’ll miss some of their important moments. They may not be life-altering moments, but I don’t want to miss even one minor event.

And that’s the hard part about living between 2 worlds. There is a constant push and pull between wanting to see your people and be a part of the important and beautiful and tough stuff going on in their lives, and being exactly where God created you to be, doing exactly what He created you to do.

So I’ll try to mop up the tears that are running down my red cheeks, and I’ll get it together so the next 4 weeks are full of such awesome memories for all of us that these will carry us through until we’re back home with each other.