Saturday morning, as Phil & I walked to the orphanage sight to check on construction and spend some time with our workers, my heart was tugging at me to go visit one of our neighbors. (Read more about our neighbor here.)
We've mentioned her before. She is suffering from complications of HIV, and she has tried to get better. She has had malaria and other illnesses the last few months, and she was extremely ill in March. On Easter Sunday, she accepted Jesus and her health started to get better. For a few weeks, we would go visit her and we would find her getting better & better. She started eating more and more, and she began to gain strength.
Suddenly, about two weeks ago, she took a turn for the worst. When she was feeling better, she would sit outside and she had the strength to chat for a few minutes. But as she became very ill, she would stay in one place in the house, vomiting and using the bathroom wherever she was laying. Her mother did her best to clean up after her, bathe her and care for her, but it wasn't enough.
When we finished up our work Saturday afternoon, we were walking home. We decided NOT to stop and visit with her, as we needed to be at church to go visit another family who had just lost their father. For some reason, my mind kept going back to her yesterday, and even this morning.
Then yesterday morning, Phil went to drop off cement around 7am to our workers. I decided to stay back at home & get ready for church. Phil had forgotten his phone and he had been gone for some time. When he finally came into the house, I saw there was something wrong just by the look in his eyes. He told me that our neighbor passed away, around 8-9am on Sunday morning.
I couldn't believe what he was saying. She was getting better! However, I knew in the back of my mind the last few weeks she had been very ill, but I don't think I was willing to accept it. I couldn't help myself - I was so disappointed that she lost the fight. I cried for a few minutes, remembering her frail figure, wishing I had more time to get to know her. I have to be honest - I had big plans for that girl! I wanted her to come work with us when she was well, and educate others about HIV/AIDS. I was so heart broken.
BUT God reminded me of the truth - she is whole again. She isn't suffering, trying to keep down a few sips of water and trying to get up enough strength to talk or cry. She is whole - the way God made her. She is dancing in heaven, celebrating a beautiful, short life.
While my tears are full of a mix of sadness & joy, they are also full of relief for her family. I know how difficult the financial and emotional burden had been, let alone the physical stress of caring for her. She was only 21 years old, and on Mother's Day, we spent a lot of time standing in prayer for her mother.
I can't imagine burying a child. I pray that I never have to, but we are praying for comfort for those mother's who have lost their children. I am praying for the children who have never known a mother's love, and I'm pulling all our little loves a little closer today, telling them how much I love each of them.
This life is short, friends. Don't hold back - chase those dreams, forgive more, love fiercely, and never settle. Don't look back on yesterday like I am now, wishing I had sat with my friend once more. I'm holding my family close today, and praying for peace for our community here.
Peace to you and yours,
Phil, Laura and Jadon, too
