Surprise!

I am constantly reminded of how we now have 5 children, and another on the way, soon to be an official family of 6. The level of noise, the constant giggling, playing and the amount of food that goes in & out of the kitchen is a clear reminder of how we are indeed growing. And, we feel so blessed to have the titles of Papa and Mama.  

Lina & Fatima ready for their first day of school!

Our three girls (Lina, Fatima, & Marieta) have been with us for just two months, and have adjusted very well. ALL of our girls are finally in school, after begging a teacher at the local school to accept them into her class. Our girls have NEVER been to school so it has been a whole new experience for each of them.

They left the house on their very first day of school in their new uniforms, a light blue top with a dark blue skirt & leggings. The pride in their shoulders & the smiles spread across their faces told us that school was exactly where these smart girls belong. They are learning so much, and we're thankful we had a little time with them at home to teach them the basic letters & numbers.

The girls also received the SURPRISE of a lifetime on Saturday. Several ladies from their former village, Nantira-Mogovola District, came to visit and check in with us. These women are not related to the children but many are from the same tribe and often helped to care for the girls before we met them.

We decided not to tell the girls they would have visitors, in case they were unable to make it or had trouble getting to the city. When they arrived, the door opened, the girls peaked around the corner of the living room into the entry way, and they all jumped & attacked our unknowing visitors.

The girls leapt into the arms of the women they hadn't seen for several months. They were so excited to see someone familiar and remember a bit of home. The girls were eager to share with their visitors, chatting about school and showing off their uniforms & notebooks and other school supplies.

Lina was the most talkative, showing off to a woman she considers to be like her grandma. Fatima & Marieta also wanted to show off their school uniform, but neither of them like to be in the spotlight like Lina!

We were able to enjoy breakfast & tea together, we prayed and looked at pictures from our visit in April to Nantira, when we first met the girls. There are about 25 children in that area who have been orphaned by at least one parent, and several more who have lost both, so were updated on the status of several children who are not doing well.

Our visitors from Nantira with Fatima, Marieta, Lina & Jadon

One little girl, about the same age as Fatima, is severely malnourished and her health continues to get worse. We are praying to be able to visit Nantira again soon, possibly in August. Our friend, Antonio, who introduced us to his friends & pastors in that area, travels several times per month to Nantira to check on the church members and orphans. If the girl isn't responding to the treatments we've sent her, Antonio may bring her back with him.

[SIDE NOTE: This is the exact reason that having a solid 4x4 is so important for this work. We need to be able to travel to rural areas where the road conditions can be extremely bad. There are many churches & communities we would like to work with; unfortunately, we are unable to do so at this time because our little truck just wouldn't make it!]

After a fun morning with our visitors, we saw them off and were reminded of the community that loves these children. While these woman are not able to care for these children now, they may be able to in the future, or at least continue to mentor them as they grow.

These kiddos are extremely loved and cared for, and not just by us. Imagine a whole community coming together to make sure these 3 women could afford to make it to the city, check on these girls, and bring an offering of amendoim - peanuts - to say thank you.

All of the kids seem to be in better spirits this week, encouraged by the visitors we received, and excited about life in general. Lina can have a bit of an attitude at times, but she seems more at peace and more laid back. Fatima usually follows what Lina does, and she is far more reserved than any child in the house. She is calm and gentle, but has really come out of her shell since starting school. Ali just continues to go with the flow - he's always smiling and always happy!

I start my journey to the States on Friday, which I know will be a big change for all of the kids. Praying for peace for them, and sanity for Phil as he takes on the challenge of being Mom, Dad, and everything in-between. If you think of them, please pray for business to continue as usual, and for the kids to adjust well to the changes.

Can't wait to get this show on the road! Hope to see many of you while I'm in the States for a fast & furious trip.

Be STILL

ALL of our kiddos are off to school today. The house is quiet, and for the first time in what feels like years, I have a moment to sit down with my steaming mug of life-giving coffee, my blanket and my Bible.

This cool season brings very cool temps in the mornings, before the sun is in full effect. Being a Colorado girl, you'd think it would be nothing for me. But the difference is: 100% humidity - the chills sets in when you least expect it, usually followed by a cough. So I take every opportunity I can to pretend like it's a blizzarding Colorado winter, and cuddle up on the couch.

As I am following my Bible plan on my phone, a plan to read the WHOLE Bible in one year, I realize I'm way behind. Like, 100 days or so! This doesn't mean I don't read my Bible, but sometimes I'm looking things up or studying for a woman's group or a class at church or a class I'm teaching. It's rare that I get to sit down and follow the chapters and verses listed out for me each day.

I decide instead of playing catch-up and not getting a lot out of each day, I'd read my lesson for the day. If I have time, I'll come back and do another in the afternoon & one before bed. I'll get caught up in no time.

I open my Bible to Exodus, chapter 14. This is one of my favorite books of the Bible, as Moses is literally leading the Israelites out of Egypt. This chapter focuses on the Israelites fleeing their captors, with the Egyptians on their heels.

And then verse 14 caught me so off guard, and made my eyes well up with tears:

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

God speaks right to us when we need to hear it. I needed this word SO badly today. And right before this, Moses tells the people to not be afraid, to stand firm, and watch God deliver them from the Egyptians.

I may not have an army chasing after me, and a giant body of water in front of me, with seemingly no where to run, but there are times I feel like a frightened Israelite. I have tried many a times to remember not to worry, to remember that God is faithful, that God is with us and for us, and not against us. But at times, it's so easy to feel so disconnected, so far away from those we love and those who love us, and so inadequate at this whole parenting & ministry gig.

There are days when I feel so ineffective, so tired, so ready to move into a new season. And there are days when I feel like the most blessed, fulfilled person on the face of the planet. But these are feelings, not always an accurate and reliable source for me.

Then God gives me moments like this morning: He is fighting for us. He just wants me to be still. I know God will always provide, I know God will always see us through every trial, and I know who I am in Him. Being still is sometimes the hardest part for me.

Beloved, if you're feeling like there are a thousand armies chasing after you today, in your marriage, in your finances, in your children, your ministry...God knows your need. God knows what you're going through. But we have to let Him fight for us. We have to be still.

I recently started attending a Bible study with an incredible group of ladies here in Nampula. It's a study by Lisa TerKeurst, called Uninvited. There's a section in the study where she says:

                                    God is good.
                                    God is good to me.
                                    God is good at being God.
                                    And today is yet another page
                                      in our great love story.

This has been a beautiful mantra for me over the last few weeks. Having a baby, having crazy hormonal stuff going on, as well as an upcoming trip away from this country - my home now - for an extended period of time, has really run me ragged.

My overtired brain & body can't seem to rest most nights. I lay awake thinking about Jadon's school fees, the plane ticket I slapped on my credit card, how will the kids do while I'm away for so long, will my absence cause more trauma, Phil is going to be all alone, shouldering everything. But when I speak my mantra over these worries, and remember that God is fighting for me; I can finally rest.

God is good at being God. He doesn't need me to interfere. He doesn't need my assistance. God doesn't need anything from me. He doesn't really need me at all! Yet, he WANTS me and YOU. He loves each of us, no matter what we've done or how we've failed. There is nothing we could ever do to make him love us more or less. What a reminder, eh?!

I hope this little mantra from Lisa will help you to remember that God is in control, and he only needs us to be still. I'm praying that you will find rest in Him when you feel weary. In fact, I'm thinking I've earned a nap.

Making Friends with the Vet

Most Africans have a weird aversion to dogs. Maybe because as Americans, we treat pets like family, while here, dogs are for security purposes ONLY. In other countries, dogs are eaten (ugh – that’s disgusting).

Anyway - dogs are a huge part of keeping this home secure. Without dogs, most of the people with bad intentions around here tend to sneak right in and grab what they can and sneak right out.

Thankfully, petty theft is usually the name of the game. We have had the kids’ shoes stolen when they were outside drying, and we’ve had a few pairs of kid’s underwear disappear, too. Hmmm…

We’ve also had a small, low level grill stolen and charcoal, too. Boxes of matches have gone missing from the back veranda, and our trash usually gets dug into at some point during the week. But with Bonnie & Clyde, even INVITED guests are usually afraid to come in.

However, Clyde had been under the weather. So under the weather, he was almost in his grave on Saturday last week. We prayed and prayed that he would make it until our vet got back into town on Sunday. And thank GOD – he did!

Clyde

Our vet – Dr. Shaida – is awesome. She’s saved the lives of several dogs we love, and we were hoping she could save Clyde, too. She said Clyde had lost a lot of blood due to a severe tick infestation, despite tick treatments. Those little blood suckers would not leave our big guy alone. And he suffered a lot. He had lost so much weight & he was dehydrated.

Dr. Shaida gave us a heavy vitamin regimen along with some antibiotics to help get our big guy better. Unfortunately, he was only getting worse, so I took him back to the doc last Monday. She told me he has lost a lot of blood and all she could do was try to make him comfortable. Clyde passed away a few hours later.

Maybe its hormones or the fact that I sat with him most of that day, but wow – I didn’t know that sweet dog had crept into my heart so deeply. Every time I look out the window I keep waiting to see him walk by or chase Bonnie.

Because dogs are a big part of our security, and after losing Clyde, we needed to start raising some new pups or find some large dogs that need a home. The vet let us know she would bring any big dogs our way who needed a home, and our friend Niki hooked us up with a friend from Jadon’s school who had a puppy available.

Ali & Lucy

So while we’re still grieving our big guy, we’re busying ourselves with caring for a new Rhodesian Ridgeback. Lucy is sweet and small – only about 8 weeks – but by the looks of her mom & dad, she’ll be a big dog, too.

We’re praying our guard dogs stay healthy and grow to be nice & big. And I’m praying the vet bills don’t make the humans in this house sick….

Wind in Our Sails

Have you ever been gut punched?  Like, can’t-breathe-gasping-for-air, kind of gut punch? I sure have – come on, I grew up with 2 brothers. I hate that feeling of gasping for air. It reminds me of being under water and I can’t get my head up out of the water fast enough to take that breath I so desperately need. (Side note: Drowning is literally one of my worst fears.)

I felt the air go right out of me today. The word “NO” has never hit me so hard. I felt like I poured my heart and soul into the process. I felt like we answered EVERY possible question, and I know we left them with a lot to think about. But in the end, we clearly weren’t chosen for a reason.

Easter! They all changed & refused to put back on their nice clothes!

I sat back and looked over all the information I submitted and kept asking myself: where did I go wrong? What did I not explain well enough? And then it hit me – we weren’t ready for this. Now is not the time. God is still growing us, helping us to navigate this ship, and that process takes time. We weren’t ready for an exciting funding opportunity, but that doesn’t mean we won’t be ready soon.

I realize that funding a project like this is expensive. And I know not everyone gets the vision. I also know that orphan prevention and long-term solutions aren’t “sexy” in the nonprofit world right now. Even in the nonprofit sector, there are trends that we look at as a world & we prioritize based on what seems to be the biggest crisis.

Maybe it’s just me, but 160+ million children in this world without a caregiver is a pretty big deal. And out of a population of 27 million in Mozambique, we have nearly 2 million children who don’t have parents. That’s like the population of Houston! I can barely wrap my mind around that figure.

Easter with some of the neighborhood boys

Despite hearing that word NO today, I’m so incredibly thankful for many things. God used ordinary, caring, generous people to build this home. And God will continue to lead us, guide us, stretch us and grow us until we are ready for the next phase.

As we continue on, we have 5 children who need us daily. Four out of the five look nothing like me, but they are part of me & they always will be. I pray for them, worry about them, cook for them, scold them, teach them, cheer for them, play with them, and love them. I have big hopes & dreams for Ali, for Lina, for Fatima, for Jadon, and for Marieta.

This journey has been like sailing a boat. Sometimes things come along that knock the wind out of our sails, so we’re forced to sit & wait a while. We pray & hope the wind will return, and sometimes it doesn’t. So we wait a little while longer. And then like clockwork, the wind returns.

There are times when the boat sails smoothly, and there are times when storms are relentless and destructive. But the days that are sunny and breezy – those are the best days. And while these days don’t come as often as we thought they would, we cherish each one so much that when the beautiful day ends, we look forward to the storms so we can see the sunny, breezy days return. 

Here's the thing...

Cool, grey clouds fill the sky, a light breeze comes through the kitchen window, as the 5 princes & princesses of the house run, scream, laugh, and play. The blocks start to gain air and suddenly I get clubbed in the nose by a large, red square. Such is the life of "Mama."

Our girls 

This is a typical day for me. Wake up with the sun, go to bed long after it sets. Cooking, cleaning, disciplining, explaining, deciphering meanings of words, cuddling, teaching, and cautioning. Each day is full. How can the day possibly be full with only 5 kiddos, you ask? I know, I wonder sometimes myself. But when we are everything to each child, at least for now, we don't get much down time!

I always knew that I wanted more than one child. Growing up as the 2nd of 4 children, and Phil growing up as the 7th out of 9 children (God bless my mom-in-law), we never wanted our own child to miss out on having siblings. It shaped us both into different people. I learned to fight thanks to my brothers and sister, and I learned early on that life isn't fair. And, you always have someone to play with. I just couldn't imagine being the same person without my siblings.

But here's the thing - we don't always get what we want, and we sure don't get to dictate how we get what we want. As Jadon is closing in on 8 this year, he finally has some siblings of his own. But some of them may not always be with us. And I can't imagine what that will be like for him or for us when some of our sweet babies go to live with families who will love and care for them forever. It makes me want to cry and hyperventilate all at the same time. Yet, the way we've adjusted to being a family of 7 is all I could have hoped for and more. It's never felt too overwhelming, but it feels just like having a family - as if they've always been ours.

Here's the other thing - I know at some point it WILL feel overwhelming. It will be daunting and it will feel less than rewarding and beautiful. There WILL be a time when we have a child that rocks our world. There WILL be a time when we deal with systemic crap that frustrates us.There WILL be a time when we can't get a child the help he or she needs. There WILL be a time when we lose a child. There WILL be a time when we want to give up. This goes with the territory of what we do, and we knew it before we jumped in.

Working on their bunnies!

I, for one, am thankful for this period of joy & calm. Each child is doing well, learning, growing and showing their little personalities. Jadon loves to be the boss and the girls are helping to put him in his place. And we get to be Mama & Papa. We get to help shape little lives. We have the privilege of loving, playing, disciplining, cooking, cleaning, teaching and showing God's big love for each of his little people.

There are a lot of changes coming up for our family of 7, and I'm not sure I'm totally ready. There's lots of traveling and some other fun things coming up, all the way until the end of the year. I'm a little tired thinking of it all, but that may be the pang of guilt I'm feeling about leaving the kiddos & Phil alone for 4 weeks while I travel to the U.S. in June! We've been planning this trip for a while, and although I don't know how I'll be able to get all these sweet faces off my mind, I know God will help me accomplish what I need to in the States and get back home quickly.

If you'd like to grab a coffee or hear about some of the miracles God used to grow our faith in the last (almost) 2 years, let's chat soon! My calendar for this short trip is already filling up, but I really don't want to miss you! Please let me know when we can catch up & we'll make it happen.

I'm pretty sure the princes and princesses are done resting so I better go make them a snack. Mama duties call...

Break Through

The clouds look like a dark blue cotton candy, fluffy and soft. But they are just threatening and I keep praying the sky would just unleash the rain we desperately need. It doesn’t. The pattern continues – they clouds move together, dark and BIG, threatening to rain; the wind begins to howl, violently blowing dust into the hot, thick air. We race outside to pull the clothes off the line before they end up in the red, sandy dirt. The temperature drops slightly and then suddenly, the wind stops and the threatening rain never comes. The lightening and thunder continues for a few minutes and soon, the silence returns. In the morning, the clouds hang around for a bit, and then the heat & sun burn them away.

The lack of rain reminds me of anxiously waiting for a break through in life. It seems like the break through is coming and then…nope. It doesn’t work out, the break through doesn’t happen, and you’re left impatiently waiting.

The weather reflects exactly how I feel at this very moment. Everything we need to happen quickly isn’t working out. Our own efforts aren’t working because everything we are waiting on is out of our own control. We feel like we can help push things to happen – like the few things left to do so we can move into the children's home. The plumber keeps running away, our blocks aren’t ready so we can’t finish up the fence, and the water isn’t running in the house yet because once again, the plumber can’t seem to work a full day.

All of these things are so incredibly frustrating. We were hoping to be IN the children’s home this last weekend. We were hoping to at least be in the first floor, available 24 hours a day, watching over everything so the consistent theft we’ve been experiencing might actually stop for a while. But it’s not working out in our own time. Each day it seems like it will be weeks or months until we can get into the home and start preparing for the kids who will become ours.

While we know there are only 3 major things keeping us from moving in: sewer system hook ups, water hook ups, and raising our fence higher, it’s becoming difficult for me to have any kind of patience. I’m becoming anxious and I can’t seem to chill out. I’m trying to keep myself occupied with our end of year giving campaigns and Giving Tuesday that’s coming up next week, but it just isn’t enough.

As I was doing my daily Bible study (that I don’t normally get done DAILY) yesterday morning, I came across this Nelson Mandela quote:

Okay – reality check. It’s my CHOICE to feel anxious and annoyed that everything isn’t going my way. This is not some set fact that I have no choice in. I have the choice to make the most of the situation. Maybe God is allowing this time for me to rest a bit and to stop worrying. And, the world doesn’t revolve around us.

Yes, our motives aren’t because of something selfish – we want to prepare the home to receive kids who are orphans – but it’s not about our own timing. Waiting is really difficult but there is always a lesson to be learned during those frustrating times. I’m learning that I’m not as patient as I think I am, and I need to work on this. I’m also learning that it makes no sense for me to be focused on something I can’t control. Focus on something else!

So while we wait for the plumber today, I’m going over to visit our neighbors. One of our neighbors had surgery for prostate cancer and he’s doing really well but he’s not eating much. Another neighbor is fighting AIDS in its advanced stages & we're working together to make a plan for her children when she is gone. Another neighbor has a daughter with malaria who doesn’t seem to be getting better after multiple trips to the hospital.

I already know what’s going to happen when I go see my neighbors – I’ll forget that I’m annoyed. We’ll talk and they’ll laugh and correct my crappy Portuguese, and then I’ll ask questions, ask about their kids, we’ll talk about the weather and how the year is quickly coming to an end. They’ll tell me about those who are sick and in need, those who have lost children or relatives. And I’ll try to pray for them in Portuguese, I’ll end up praying in English, and then we’ll part ways. At the end of the day, I won’t remember how frustrated and anxious I felt this morning. And I hope that’s what happens because it’s not about me. 

Here's to making choices based on my hopes and not my fears - or my bad attitude. 

Hugs, 

Phil & Laura, and Jadon, too 

Waiting in HOPE

I’m sitting here at the dining room table, trying to get some paperwork done and I HATE it. Yes, HATE. Paperwork is a four-letter word in my mind. Ewwwww. I just can’t deal with it.  So what do I do instead of doing the paperwork I’m supposed to do? I check my email, and then, oops – I get on FACEBOOK.

That app is like the worst thing that ever happened to me. I need it to stay connected to the world and to communicate to the world how we’re doing here in Moz, but man…I waste a lot of hours stalking people, staring at cute babies and pictures of puppies and reading articles & recipes of stuff I’ll never make or find the ingredients here to make. Distracted much?!

I think it’s easy to be distracted when you don’t want to face reality. I don’t LIKE doing paperwork, but it MUST be done or there are serious consequences, both here in Moz and back in the States. Paperwork is just something I’ve never liked. I LOVE writing and journaling but actually filling out forms & answering cookie-cutter questions is so NOT my thing. But isn’t that SO similar to how this last week has felt? There are things happening around us that we MUST do but we don’t LIKE doing it, and many of these things are totally out of our control. Ugh.

Prime example: Cooking dinner. (YOU totally thought I was going to say something that rhymes with “Shmesidential Shmelection,” didn’t you?!) When you’re EXHAUSTED and it’s really HOT like it is here, turning on the oven just doesn’t seem right. But if you have a tribe of hungry ones on the verge of melt down mode, you light that stove and get to cooking, right? Well, at least I do because there’s no Pizza Hut around here!

I guess my point is this: there will always be things we don’t like and we don’t want to deal with. There will be times when we all feel frustrated, tired of waiting and tired of the crap that goes on in this world. There’s a lot that we cannot control, and that can be one of the most frustrating parts of a difficult season.

Recently, we’ve been experiencing a lot of things that are not in our control, but directly affect us. We’ve had a lot of construction materials stolen and with the exchange rate being very high, the cost of replacing these items is outrageous - three to four times what we paid for the same item only a few months ago.  

We’ve had some things taken right in front of our eyes, even when we thought we were being very vigilant. We have a team of builders who live on site, and there is still theft, almost daily. It’s something we can’t really control because there’s no way we can see everything that goes on until we are able to move in and be around the house ALL the time.

WAITING is also something neither of us deal well with and we’ve been waiting for almost a MONTH for the social action office to come and do a quick inspection. It’s not really even a REAL inspection – it’s more of a formality. But every 4-5 days, the director makes an appointment with us and then can’t make it or doesn’t show up. In his defense, the guy is SO busy and I feel for him, but waiting is difficult and annoying! I guess we’re learning patience.

So even though we’re mostly ready to move in - most likely by the end of the week, we have to wait on the social action office. And we’ll continue to wait, expecting to hear from them soon, knowing that we’ll get there. This is one of those things we don’t like to do, we don’t want to do, but we have to wait. Sometimes the reason we WAIT is because we’re being protected from something or we’re being propelled into something better than if we had JUMPED immediately and rushed through the process so we can have what we want, NOW.

In this time of waiting, we’ve had the ability to spend time doing what we LOVE – spending time with PEOPLE - with our construction team and with our neighbors. We’re taking this interim time to seek out anything we’ve been missing out on during our season of business and building. And it’s good, guys.

After this crazy week, take some time to WAIT. Sit back and look around you and look for those things that you might be missing when you’re too busy or too tired to see them.

Do me a favor – WRITE THIS DOWN! Take some time and log out of social media, shut down your email (after you read this!) and then listen. What have you been missing out on what you need to do or want to do? Write down something that you need to do during those seasons of waiting or frustration, especially if you're currently in one of these. Go see your neighbor, call someone you haven't talked to in a while, cook a meal for a friend, take your wife out for a glass of wine, make your hubby breakfast in bed. Then just chat – don’t talk about politics or what’s going wrong in this world. Just show some love and you’d be surprised how much hope you have when you’re finished.

Speaking of HOPE – help give our community HOPE by making a contribution to Heart for the Needy on Giving Tuesday, coming up in just 2 ½ short weeks! Learn more about Giving Tuesday HERE. If you haven’t already partnered with us, now is THE time! Help us finish preparing for the kiddos we will bring in and help us get a jump on our funding needs for 2017. You can give any time at www.heartfortheneedy.org, via PayPal!

AND – don’t forget every donation is TAX DEDUCTIBLE! Do some end-of-the-year giving AND get that tax deduction – we all win!  

We are in this waiting season for only a short time, and we love that you are walking alongside us, cheering us on. Often times, your encouragement and prayers are what remind us to keep going. It’s not always easy and we won’t pretend that it is. But we know that we have so many of you fighting for us, and we are overwhelmed

by your love. Please don’t stop loving us – we can’t do this without you.

 While we wait,

 Phil & Laura, and Jadon, too