A Different Kind of Thanksgiving

This last week has worn me out. Literally. I feel like I got hit by a bus sometime around Sunday or Monday, and I never recovered. By Thursday, I was grumpy and annoyed by every little thing. I think because I was so tired I was a little more emotional than usual. It was also our first holiday in Mozambique since moving here. I was thinking about my family being together, doing all the holiday traditions we’ve done for so long.

As the day of thanks went on, it felt nothing like the Thanksgiving’s I remembered. I was frustrated by a challenge we’ve been facing regarding the vehicle’s we purchased for the orphanage, the custom’s office was asking for an outrageous amount of money for a small package my family had sent us, and our project file was still in the same office, without a building permit or document for legalization of the land. I prayed over my frustration and asked God to help me get it together.

I was also HOT. I was so hot. It was over 100 degrees that day and the sun was so bright, and the humidity was out of control. We tried to minimize our walking that day to only what was necessary, but we had a lot to do, and we are both healthy so walking was definitely an option. We walked a lot, stopped when we needed a break, drank a lot of cold water, and tried to relax our minds over the challenges we were facing. We prayed together that God would help us let everything go and let Him handle it for us.

Understanding why things are so difficult here has been a real challenge to me. However, we’ve learned a lot in the 3 short months we have been here. The problem is simple to identify: OPPRESSION.

The impoverished people of this nation have been taken advantage of by outsiders for hundreds of years. Oppression leads to poverty, and poverty leads to corruption, and corruption leads to a culture shift. Corruption becomes abundant in the culture, though it is not inherent. It becomes a way of life for everyone in the system. There is little anyone can do to escape the systematic cycle and navigating the system is like swimming in a stormy sea without a life vest. At times, we have thought we were going to drown because we refused to "tip" (bribe) someone. However, God has always put someone in our path to help us, and for that, I am forever grateful.

Despite my annoyance, God worked a miracle and we were able to take our package home. We also had positive movement in our challenge with our vehicles, and we were told to expect a result early this week. We have been battling this issue for nearly 3 months, since we first arrived. But God is faithful, and He has everything in His hands.

Here is what I personally learned from this Thanksgiving: Relax, and give thanks even in the midst of frustration. And, honestly, what is 3 months?! We’ve only been here a VERY short time, and already God has moved mountains on our behalf. Who else gets FREE land from the government for a project like this, or concession on paying several thousand dollars for building and legalization, or personal assistance from the governor?! We are so blessed, friends. We are beyond blessed. How could I possibly have been so annoyed?! How could I have let little mole hills grow into mountains?!

We serve a mighty God who loves the fatherless, the helpless and the voiceless. We serve a God who promises to never leave any one of us. We serve a God who promises to be a father to the fatherless, to defend the poor and helpless, to fight for the oppressed and voiceless. He promises that when we tell Him of our plans & commit them to Him, we will be successful.

We NEVER have to worry. We will be successful, in Jesus’ name! We give God all the praise for what He has already done, and what He will do on behalf of the children in this community. We have nothing to complain about, nothing to worry about and nothing to stress about. We have everything we need to be successful – our success is not because of our own ability, but because of the way God has worked on our behalf, in the years before we came. God knows what He is doing, and we will continue to walk the path He guides us down, in obedience to whatever God asks of us.

Pray for us as we continue on this journey and put a home on this land that will care for the most vulnerable of children, the most oppressed & burdened little people of this land. Pray that the financial needs of the orphanage are met, pray for our building permit to come out this week, and pray for our courage & strength to continue to be abundant.

Phil, Laura & Jadon, too

Nonsense = Distractions

I don’t like giving nonsense attention. Nonsense becomes a distraction from what really ACTUALLY matters: a distraction from the truth, a distraction from what God desires for us to spend our energy and time on.  However, I think the world likes nonsense. Every time I get on the Internet, there is some kind of nonsense distraction: 10 ways to make blah blah blah better; some semi-famous someone showed up to some awards show wearing next to nothing; some giant coffee company (with terrible coffee) offends the world with a red cup, etc. 

I admit I am more than guilty for reading sleazy celebrity gossip or reading about the 10 ways I’m not doing enough for my husband or the 10-ways-I’m-ruining-my-child–who-will-need-therapy-for-the-rest-of-his-life. I like to be distracted sometimes because it means I don’t have to focus on what I really should be doing. But that’s the problem – the nonsense distracts me from what I should really be doing, from what I should be thinking about.

Here is why nonsense is soooooo detrimental to our culture today: it becomes our focus. Being distracted isn’t really the problem; the issue is that we begin to see the distraction as our main focus, leaving behind the most important values we claim to hold on to as believers. One of the values that is slowly slipping away is community.

I love to say the word “community.” I can’t say it without smiling or thinking about times in my life when I had amazing community. The best time of my life, when I had amazing community, has gone. Yes, I said it, gone. And, mostly because it’s my own fault. We’ve moved a few times in the last 2 years, and it takes a toll. I’ve always loved being engaged in my community and church, and in the last 2 years, I’ve really withdrawn myself. I have no idea why, other than I was nervous. I wasn’t sure we could find people to mesh with – people who could understand how crazy our lives are and understand how we don’t have a lot of time for much other than work and family. Of course, we wanted God at the center of everything, but we weren’t prioritizing Him well. We put Him at the back of our minds instead of at the front.

When we began to feel God tugging at our hearts and minds at the beginning of the year, pulling distractions from us little by little, I personally felt a lot of disconnect with God. I had been working, on average, 60+ hours a week in child protection, which is a very rewarding job. However, it took the life out of me. I enjoyed every minute of it, but that career is a very traumatizing one, with countless hours spent without pay, and without your family. It was flexible at times, so I enjoyed the flexibility, but in the end, it took as much energy from me as working 2 full time jobs. I didn’t have my priorities straight, and I fell out of sync in my relationship with God. He knew that by drawing me closer to this project I would naturally draw back to Him, which is exactly what happened.

I now look around me and see that even in Mozambique, I can easily become distracted again. I have to refocus myself at times when I feel anxious or worried. We are also slowly growing a community around ourselves again, full of people both near and far, who love us, help guide us spiritually, and help us to grow in our relationship with the Lord.

Moving back to Mozambique has definitely grown my relationship with God over the last year and trusting Him to provide guidance, financial means and support. I trust Him for every need, and I no longer worry about ANY T-H-I-N-G. Honestly. For example, we need $30,000 to start building our orphanage. We need a large dump truck for building the orphanage, which will cost around $10,000. Countless other needs and small obstacles, not to mention our own personal financial needs. At this stage in my life, I trust God to meet each need. NONE of these things make me even bat an eye. I have not a single doubt in my mind that God will meet every need.

Don’t get me wrong – we don’t wake up every morning and say, “Okay, God! Work your magic,” and then sit around and do nothing. While we’re waiting for our building approval, we are as productive as possible. We apply for private grants, public grants, any grant that has money to give to an organization that cares for children. We build relationships within our community here, while continuing to build relationships in the U.S. We work as hard as we can doing the things we know how to do, and we try to learn the things we don’t yet understand or know. God promises to see us through, but God expects us to use the skills He has given us to do whatever we can to make the process move forward. God has blessed each of us with skills to do more than sit by and wait.

So, my dear friend, if you are distracted or out of sync in your relationship with God, sit down and look at your priorities. Make a plan of how to get them back into shape. Make a list of what you want your priorities to be, and then work backwards from there. I know my life has been forever changed because God comes first now. This doesn’t guarantee that life will be any easier, however, it does guarantee an amazing sense of peace in the midst of it all. And, never under estimate the power of a community of people who will love you, lift you up when you feel like you can’t go on, and help you to grow in your relationship with God. We were created for community so don’t neglect it!

If you think of us in the coming weeks, please pray for us and our financial needs. We know that God is great and He will work all of this out in His timing, and better than we ever imagined. We would be honored to pray for you as well, whatever you are walking through. Email us at heartfortheneedy@gmail.com, or comment below and we’ll add you to our prayer list.

With lots of love,

Phil & Laura, and Jadon, too

6 little words...

I have been waiting for this day to come since we moved to Mozambique. The 6 words would come at some point – I knew it was a matter of WHEN, not IF. I think Phil & I both knew that moving to a 3^rd world country with a 5-year-old wasn’t exactly going to be easy for either of us who had become accustomed to our life in the U.S., let alone our little man who has never known any other place than the U.S. And, even if it was because he was in trouble, it still cut right to my heart when he said it last weekend: “I just want to go home.” This phrase came out of J’s mouth followed by about 30 minutes of crying and asking me why we can’t “go back.”

I had rehearsed what I would say in my head a few times before this happened. I thought I would say something like: “Why? Doesn’t this place feel like home?” Or, “Don’t you want us to stay so you can go to your awesome school and be with your cousins?”

Despite being well rehearsed, I couldn’t say much. I knew deep inside that he didn’t choose this monumental change: WE chose it. Phil & I know God has brought us here, called us here, and we are committed to doing whatever it takes to make living here work so we can meet the needs of the vulnerable children in this area. We talked with Jadon a lot about moving, about leaving our house and our dog and most of our possessions behind. We talked with Jadon about the WHYs of moving, and what we wanted to accomplish by moving to Mozambique. The reality, though, was Jadon had no say in this move; he had not control & no choice in the matter. Period.

Another part of me wanted to tell him how blessed we are to have this opportunity. I wanted to explain to him that the majority of people in this world don’t have their own bedroom, a pile of toys and 2 parents who can provide for him. I wanted to explain to him he is privileged and spoiled. But I knew that wasn’t going to do any good either. After all, I thought to myself, he’s only 5, MOM! So, I did my best to explain as lovingly as I could.

Waiting at the airport in Ethiopia - August 2015

At first, I struggled to convey the message to J why we can’t just “go home.” Thankfully, we had been on an outing earlier in the day and he had experienced (probably for the first time) people begging on the street, and we saw 2 street boys sleeping under a bench. He was really bothered by what he saw, so we talked to a few to show him not to be afraid, and when we got home we talked about how we could help people who don’t have a home. I think he was beginning to understand WHY we are here.

When he said he wanted to go home, I asked him a lot of questions. After talking and crying for a little while he said he wants us to stay and help kids like the 2 boys we saw earlier in the day, and we talked about what Phil & I can do to make him feel like this place is his home. Overall, he seems to need a little space and a little alone time with Mom & Dad, which I think we can arrange without a problem. He also said he can’t wait for us to live in our own house (ME TOO!!). I know it hasn’t been easy to go from being an only child to having 4 siblings all of a sudden, but it has only been a few months verses his 5 years alone.

Jadon has also been memorizing Psalm 23, so after we talked and I explained to him why we can’t leave, he said his memory verses. I explained to him that God will lead us through anything in life, and He will be everything to us when we feel sad or worried or scared, or even when we feel like we want to go back to our “home.” I have no idea if any of our conversation sunk in, but I really hope it did. If nothing else, it was a good way for us to spend a quiet minute together.

I know “I just want to go home,” may rear its head again, and next time it may not be Jadon. But God is bigger than “I want to go home,” bigger than fear, bigger than any amount of money, bigger than any obstacle. We knew this wouldn’t be easy. We knew there would be an adjustment period for us, for Jadon, for our family here. We knew moving across the world, away from family and friends, would have its struggles, joys and frustrations. But the best part about God is He can be EVERYTHING to us in each of those seasons. In times when we feel lonely, we know God will comfort us. When there is a season of frustration or sadness, God will be there. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. We never have to fear. We find great comfort in knowing that we will never be alone.

Encouragement in the Frustration

I have no idea what’s wrong with me, but I feel totally defeated today. I don’t know if it’s because of what happened at immigration yesterday, but I’m going to be totally honest – I wanted to run. I wanted to get on a plane, fly to another country, and start over somewhere else in Africa. Surely there is another country nearby that could use an orphanage, right?! I couldn’t believe how we were treated at the immigration office. I felt like I was a criminal, and we were basically treated as such. I think yesterday was a slap in the face by the reality of how life can be here.

Here’s the problem – when you apply for a Residential Visa at the Embassy of Mozambique in Washington, D.C., they give you a Visa that says you can stay in the country for 90 days. But we know that processing documents here is difficult and can take time, so we got on the paperwork right away. We consulted an immigration officer we knew from years ago, and she stated what we thought was true – we have 90 days to get our residency processed and we’ll be fine. However, the information was wrong. We only had 30 DAYS to process our residency or renew the Visa.

I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how many times we have been to the immigration office in the last 7 weeks. A minimum of once per week, asking for explanation of which documents we need, where to get the documents, and showing our passports AND our VISA to every person we talked to. Unfortunately, everyone who saw our Visa neglected to explain that yes, we have 90 days to be in the country, but every 30 DAYS we must get a stamp from the immigration office and pay a small fee. REALLY?! Sharing information is clearly not a strong point for some people. We asked a lot of questions and I’m still kicking myself for not asking more and more and more questions until we got what we needed. The experience was extremely defeating, and EXPENSIVE.

We were able to solve the problem, but it cost us. A LOT. Not a little. We are basically paying DOUBLE for our residency. Nearly $3,000. My stomach feels sick writing that number and as tears stream down my face as I type, I want to stay angry and frustrated and wonder how anyone could be treated this way. I want justice and I want the woman who attended to us first to take responsibility for not even understanding the basics of her job. I ALSO want someone to understand that by taking our money they are literally taking food out of someone’s mouth, money away from a project that is for a community of people in need, children who have nothing, who may be starving this VERY instant. BUT……………………………………………... that’s not me. That’s not the woman God created me to be. I am not someone to hold a grudge and seek revenge. It’s not worth it and it’s not Biblical if we’re being honest. I know that someday I will have to answer for how I treated others, and I want to be a woman who loves well, not a women who hates many.

Despite the frustration, we feel encouraged by good news as well. We are moving forward with God’s help! Our project folder has been submitted to the local government for legalization and building permits. Our land was measured last week and we are awaiting the calculation of fees, as well as the signatures for approval. Things have really worked out well over the last 7 weeks. With the exception of yesterday, a lot has been accomplished. I can’t even explain how hard it can be to obtain all the required documents. Everyday we run all over town without a car, have one office sign a letter, another office request that we write a letter and come back, and then the other signature we need from another office can’t be done because the director is out of town for 2 weeks. So having our project file submitted is a miracle in itself, especially after such a short amount of time.

Measuring our land!

My spirits are lifting as I write and understand that things are not always going to be easy. Not everyone sees our vision and our dream as a good thing. Not everyone truly believes that we don’t want anything from anyone and all we want to do is help. Many people in Mozambique are skeptical of why we would leave a comfortable life in the States to come here and only “help” & not gain anything in return. But God sees our hearts and the desire that we have to help make a difference. We don’t know everything, we don’t pretend to, and we value the input of the local people who are working hard to make a difference in their country, too. We’re praying that together we can help make a lasting impact.

Establishing the northern boundary of our land

A few people have been asking what we need, how they can help from afar, and what we could use prayers for. In all honesty, we are doing fine, but we would appreciate prayers for continued favor. We are praying that we can begin building before the end of the year, so please pray that the paperwork and funds come through. You can always give donations online at our website: heartfortheneedy.org, or you can mail a check donation to: 35 E Animas Village Lane, Durango, CO, 81301.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support, and thank you for letting us be open and honest about how this process can be difficult. But with GOD, EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

5am?!

Waking up daily at 5am has serious benefits! For example, I get up, have some coffee, eat breakfast, and read a book or read my Bible or pray. By the time I'm finished with my morning routine, it's not even 6:30. But there are some disadvantages to our new routine. Like last night - I'm a night owl by nature but I couldn't keep my eyes open past 8pm. I was literally in bed and asleep before 8:30. I guess you could say we are adjusting well. We go to bed early and get up early. It's very different from life in the States, but we are putting the pieces of our new life together.

Jadon on his first day of school 

We have started all of the routine matters for our little family, including school for Jadon. Thankfully God knew our plans to move here and get started on this project, and we arrived just in time for the new school year to commence on Wednesday, Sept. 9th. Jadon will be attending Rapale Christian School, run by a fabulous team of Zimbabwean teachers. He has also been approved to enter 1st grade rather than kindergarten! It was not cheap to get him enrolled but God is providing and I'm thankful for my husband who harped on saving, saving, saving before we left the States. And, if we were paying for private school in the States we would probably be paying per month what we paid for a whole term. Due to us not having a vehicle yet, we have been able to pay for the "school bus" to take Jadon to and from school each day.

My nieces (Grace & Mary) & nephews
(Emmanuel & Gabriel) 

We are now searching for a car as well. We can get around fairly easily with local transports called Chappas, which are basically large vans with 80 people packed inside. Sometimes the sliding door hangs open because there are too many people to close the door! I'm going to go off on a quick tangent here - if you're like me and you have had your cute little Lexus with leather seats in the past (before totaling it, ehemm), the good Lord will humble you when riding Chappas and trying to get around here. It's fairly easy to get around but everything comes at a price. For example, I've held other people's kids, sat next to chickens and even had a goat strapped to the roof of one. And the roads are so bad, it feels like going four wheeling for the first 10 minutes of the 15 minute ride to town. All this to say that EVENTUALLY we will need a 4 wheel drive vehicle with some clearance from the ungodly pot holes that may or may not swallow a small truck.

Riding in the back of a chappa with about
 15 other people

We are still living with family and we are trying to make a plan for our next move. We have a friend we were going to be living with but she was very sick. She will be home soon so we will need to decide if we should move in with her or stay with our family. At least with family, we feel comfortable and know what we can do to be helpful in the house. We will likely stay with family until we are able to move into our own place, on our land. We will continue to pray about it and would appreciate your prayers, too!

We have already submitted our building plans to be made into accurate and official plans for construction, and we should see the first draft either today or tomorrow. Once we have the final draft, we will submit copies of our passports, a letter from the secretary where we purchased our land, and the building plans, and the rest will be God's hands. The government officials will be the ones to determine the cost of the leglaization, and the length of time before the governor signs off with his apprival. Some individuals have waited months for this process to be completed and others have waited years. Some have paid heavy, heavy fees and others have paid next to nothing. We are praying that God will see our efforts and He will multiply them by moving things along in His timing. We know we were prepared for this exact moment by the Lord, and we are trusting Him to bring us into the next phase. Please pray alongside us for God's hands to do what is needed.

Other than the basic adjustments, we are all doing extremely well. Jadon enjoys his cousins, loves all of his new aunties & uncles, and none of us have been sick yet. Thank you for taking the time to read this - we are humbled daily by your support and love. Please done forget us in your prayers!

With love from Moz ~ The Olaniyi's

Back in Moz...

Touching down on the tarmac with the orange sun hanging in the afternoon sky, I opened my eyes and felt excitement mixed with extreme fatigue. Jadon didn't sleep more than 1-2 hours on our longest flight, about 14 hours, and he slept only about an hour on our last flight of about 6 hours. We practically crawled off the plane, and I begged the hostess to help me get my carry on bags off the plane while I carried Jadon. Walking down the steps onto the tarmac, I felt like I was home.

We walked inside the airport and filled out customs forms. The first thing out of the gate keeper's mouth was "Tem Yellow Card?" Basically, he was asking to see our vaccination for Yellow Fever. We have never been to a country where yellow fever was a problem, so we never received the vaccinations. We somehow communicated in broken Portuguese and English, and he was trying gives us trouble because we landed for about an hour in Ethiopia. He finally let Jadon & I through, into the capital city, Maputo. We collected our bags and headed for the security scanning where we could finally get out. Philemon had flown to Maputo a day earlier than us, with a member from our board of directors so he was waiting for us at the gate. I have never been so glad to have a husband.

One of the ways I knew for sure that I was in Mozambique again was when we were trying to leave the airport. Phil had tipped the "officers" so he could enter the area where they were scanning our bags and getting us through customs. As soon as he showed his face, the problems started. Everyone knew immediately Phil is from Nigeria and they believe that he has come to Mozambique to take what he wants from their land. Phil explained why we are in Mozambique and no one wanted to hear it. Because we didn't pull out our money right away, they went through every single bag we brought, asking questions and asking why we brought so many clothes. People here are so skeptical of foreigners here and I can't say that I blame them. Foreigners have taken advantage of the Mozambicans for many, many years, and I believe it breeds this attitude of skepticism. And, unfortunately, everyone wants something from us when they see we are from the States. Bribery is nearly impossible to avoid here. I pray every day that when we give a bribe it's for something good.

We stayed one night in Maputo, with amazing friends we have known for many years. Our friends, the Manvicks, are truly family. Jadon calls their 3 children (David, Victoria, and Divine) his cousins. We enjoyed spending some time with them and they really helped us IMMENSELY. They have always been there for us when we can't get flights to Nampula or we have too many bags or we just need to rest. We had so many pounds of luggage this time that we would have been forced to pay nearly $400 just to get all of our bags to Nampula. But Mr. Manvick knows how to ship items by bus, so we shipped almost all of our bags for about $80.

After staying 2 days in Maputo, we flew to Nampula, and we were welcomed with open arms. We were supposed to move in with our friend, Mama Chade, but she was having an emergency surgery in the northern part of the country. We decided to stay with our family, Phil's cousins, until she comes home. Jadon has immediately inherited 4 siblings, 2 boys (Immanuel - age 11; Gabriel - 5) and 2 girls (Grace - 10; Mary - 8). We are settling in well, and we are so thankful for family!

On Monday, 8/31, we received all of our luggage 2 days after arriving in Nampula, and God really watched over our bags. We weren't missing even a single sock or pair of shoes. We started putting everything in it's place, shuffling things around in our room, and trying to make everything work.

We have also started meeting with the officials who have to write up the documents for the land we purchased, and the secretary over the community where our land is located, has been very fair and helpful to us. He has agreed that the community needs this project and we need to get started as soon as possible. We also gave our building plans to another official today, who has to make the plans into official documents, and then we can submit the paperwork for approval. Once the paperwork is submitted, we will wait. This is when I believe God will do His thing. He will get everything done in His time, and it feels that now may be that time.

Please continue to pray for us we move forward, and please don't forget that you can always give monthly! You can set up auto giving or one time gifts through Paypal on our website: heartfortheneedy.org. Thank you all for the support and love. We are so grateful!

6 more days……...

We've unpacked and repacked very large, heavy suit cases many times. Infact, it seems like we've packed and unpacked at least 8,000,000 times. Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating a little. I am a bit dramatic at times. Not like full on drama queen or bridezilla, but dramatic. Mildly dramatic. Anyway, I FEEL like I've packed and unpacked and repacked many more times than I actually have.

If you know me well, I like packing. It is the "UN" part of anything that I don't like. For example, un-pack, or un-answered or un-announced. I don't even like the word underwear because it starts with UN, which usually means there is more work or discomfort. Either way, I simply enjoy the packing phase. However, after getting rid of so many THINGS I thought we would be better off when it came down to the actual jump-across-the-giant-pond-packing-marathon. But, alas, it really didn't change the 6 suit case, 70 pounds per bag, limit.

When I think about packing my short 28 years into 6 large suit cases, I KNOW it's not a problem. But, I have a child who loves books and cars, and an awesome husband who is WAY more into fashion than I could ever be, sooooo....he has great shoes!! He has a lot of, uh.....great shoes, and clothes. He's a bargain shopper but he likes nice shoes and he'll hunt & hunt until he gets a cheap deal. I love my husband, and I'm not putting this out here for all of you wonderful people to see me shaming my husband, but the man has a shoe problem!! Okay, again...maybe adding in some drama, but we had to have a talk - I call it a shoe-ter-vention.

So finally I said today, "You have got to do something about the shoes, I mean come on. For the LOVE!!!" (I am a HUGE fan, by the way, of Jen Hatmaker, and her new book, For the Love, which is totally rocking my night time readings and giving me some serious encouragement all at the same time.) After some talking, he agreed to cut back on some of the things he packed, but not the shoes. He said to me, exactly in his own words, "The clothes will go before the shoes. I've had most of those shoes for at least 8 years." Honestly, I appreciated his honesty. And now I know if I throw anything out of his bag, the clothes go first!

While we are pretty much ready, minus the juggling of bags and weight and shoes and what not, we ARE ready. I think emotionally ready. Thankfully, a lot of the heavy lift and difficulty in this process was finished long ago - back in June. We rented our house, sold our car, totaled out the car I wrecked in May, and then we gave our dog, Ozzie, to a sweet, loving home. I have no idea how all of the pieces of the puzzle came together so quickly, or so perfectly, and the only way it all happened is this - God's timing. EVERY last detail has been put together - not by me, or Phil, or our board of directors, but God, all by Himself. He knew it was time, He knows it is time, and He is making it happen.

People have been saying a lot lately, "Wow!! That's so great!! Aren't you scared, though? Worried? Nervous?" Honestly, yes, to all of the above! I know for myself, I have been running through about 800 emotions (sorry, exaggerating again) every day. I get SO excited about going back to the culture, people, and country that God created & knit together, and has given us the opportunity to return to. Then, I stress over packing too much or too little, or I worry that we haven't said goodbye to someone who we might really hurt, and then I go back to being excited to see family & friends. It's kind of like riding the tea cup ride at Disney Land - at first it's really fun, and then you get a little dizzy, and then it's fun again, and then you're finally ready for the stinkin' ride to just STOP!! I feel like the planning has been coming for so many year, for so long, and now that it's here, let's GO!! But there is so much to do in just the next 6 short days. I mean, Durango, hello?! There is so much I'll miss about my hometown. We'll try to pack as much fun & time with family & friends over the next 6 days, and then, just as quickly as the dream started, we'll be off to begin again.

I think we'll be fine. The flights are long, and the schedule of flights is a little weird, but I am so thankful for a wonderful God who has taken a dream and turned it into reality. That's not to say there hasn't been hard work, and often times many tears of frustration or disappointment, but God has always had this dream in the palm of His hand. He knew the best time, the best place and the best way to begin this journey. I'm praying that we'll fix our eyes on Him during the journey and enjoy the ride. After all, life is meant to be lived - it is a gift, and we intend to chase our dreams until God calls us home.