What the Future Holds

Our kids are awesome. Smart, funny, playful, loud, expressive, goofy, mature...the list could just go on and on. But I noticed something really important the other day that I didn't notice before I'd been away from them for a while - they're all growing up. Yikes.

This simple fact freaked me out a little bit. How was it possible that Jadon & Naro will be starting 3rd grade in a few weeks?! How is it possible that Ali is speaking more than ever and his Portuguese is actually understandable at this point?!

How is it that Lina is helping in the kitchen and wants to help make the dog feed every day?! How is it possible that Marieta is almost as tall as Fatima and she's growing even faster?! And Fatima - how is it possible that this girl is coming out of her shell and talking and excited about life?! It's a far cry from how we met her.

With the excitement of how much each of our kids has changed since they came to live with us (Ali has been here almost 7 months; the girls have been here almost 4), I'm often plagued by the thought of having to let them go at some point. Our goal is to match kiddos with local families so they can live in a family environment, within their own culture, and still have all the love & security that any child needs. 

Quick side note: International adoption is somewhat difficult and the waters are a bit muddy still to us, so as time progresses I'm sure we'll get to the point of being able to sort out the intricacies of the process. If you live in Mozambique as a resident, it's fairly straight forward. However, it seems that the only current way to adopt is by living in the country for at least 6 months to a year.

The very thought, though, of trying to find a home for any of them breaks my heart. I wish I could keep each one, watch them grow, encourage them, love them, provide for them. But I know this is part of the plan - help them adjust to a different life, help them move to a permanent home, and if we're able, we can keep a relationship with them. 

It would be selfish, really, to think that we can provide everything for each child, all the time. We're only 2. There will be many more who need a mom and dad, too. We can't have 20 children and expect them all to feel our love, feel valued, as they would in a smaller family environment. 

While it's hard to fathom life without any of the kids now that they are like our own, I know it's all part of the process. It WILL be hard when the time comes, but we'll have others who desperately need a place to live, parents to love them, and a foundation to grow upon. There will never be a time when we don't have kids to help & love.

For the time being, I'm soaking up all that God is doing in each child. I'm soaking up the intelligent people they are becoming. I'm enjoying their giggles and funny songs and silly games. I'm even enjoying the crying, acting out and small fights that break out from time to time. They'll only be ours for a while so we're making the most of their time here.