Touching down on the tarmac with the orange sun hanging in the afternoon sky, I opened my eyes and felt excitement mixed with extreme fatigue. Jadon didn't sleep more than 1-2 hours on our longest flight, about 14 hours, and he slept only about an hour on our last flight of about 6 hours. We practically crawled off the plane, and I begged the hostess to help me get my carry on bags off the plane while I carried Jadon. Walking down the steps onto the tarmac, I felt like I was home.
We walked inside the airport and filled out customs forms. The first thing out of the gate keeper's mouth was "Tem Yellow Card?" Basically, he was asking to see our vaccination for Yellow Fever. We have never been to a country where yellow fever was a problem, so we never received the vaccinations. We somehow communicated in broken Portuguese and English, and he was trying gives us trouble because we landed for about an hour in Ethiopia. He finally let Jadon & I through, into the capital city, Maputo. We collected our bags and headed for the security scanning where we could finally get out. Philemon had flown to Maputo a day earlier than us, with a member from our board of directors so he was waiting for us at the gate. I have never been so glad to have a husband.
One of the ways I knew for sure that I was in Mozambique again was when we were trying to leave the airport. Phil had tipped the "officers" so he could enter the area where they were scanning our bags and getting us through customs. As soon as he showed his face, the problems started. Everyone knew immediately Phil is from Nigeria and they believe that he has come to Mozambique to take what he wants from their land. Phil explained why we are in Mozambique and no one wanted to hear it. Because we didn't pull out our money right away, they went through every single bag we brought, asking questions and asking why we brought so many clothes. People here are so skeptical of foreigners here and I can't say that I blame them. Foreigners have taken advantage of the Mozambicans for many, many years, and I believe it breeds this attitude of skepticism. And, unfortunately, everyone wants something from us when they see we are from the States. Bribery is nearly impossible to avoid here. I pray every day that when we give a bribe it's for something good.
We stayed one night in Maputo, with amazing friends we have known for many years. Our friends, the Manvicks, are truly family. Jadon calls their 3 children (David, Victoria, and Divine) his cousins. We enjoyed spending some time with them and they really helped us IMMENSELY. They have always been there for us when we can't get flights to Nampula or we have too many bags or we just need to rest. We had so many pounds of luggage this time that we would have been forced to pay nearly $400 just to get all of our bags to Nampula. But Mr. Manvick knows how to ship items by bus, so we shipped almost all of our bags for about $80.
After staying 2 days in Maputo, we flew to Nampula, and we were welcomed with open arms. We were supposed to move in with our friend, Mama Chade, but she was having an emergency surgery in the northern part of the country. We decided to stay with our family, Phil's cousins, until she comes home. Jadon has immediately inherited 4 siblings, 2 boys (Immanuel - age 11; Gabriel - 5) and 2 girls (Grace - 10; Mary - 8). We are settling in well, and we are so thankful for family!
On Monday, 8/31, we received all of our luggage 2 days after arriving in Nampula, and God really watched over our bags. We weren't missing even a single sock or pair of shoes. We started putting everything in it's place, shuffling things around in our room, and trying to make everything work.
We have also started meeting with the officials who have to write up the documents for the land we purchased, and the secretary over the community where our land is located, has been very fair and helpful to us. He has agreed that the community needs this project and we need to get started as soon as possible. We also gave our building plans to another official today, who has to make the plans into official documents, and then we can submit the paperwork for approval. Once the paperwork is submitted, we will wait. This is when I believe God will do His thing. He will get everything done in His time, and it feels that now may be that time.
Please continue to pray for us we move forward, and please don't forget that you can always give monthly! You can set up auto giving or one time gifts through Paypal on our website: heartfortheneedy.org. Thank you all for the support and love. We are so grateful!
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Friday, August 21, 2015
6 more days……...
We've unpacked and repacked very large, heavy suit cases many times. Infact, it seems like we've packed and unpacked at least 8,000,000 times. Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating a little. I am a bit dramatic at times. Not like full on drama queen or bridezilla, but dramatic. Mildly dramatic. Anyway, I FEEL like I've packed and unpacked and repacked many more times than I actually have.
If you know me well, I like packing. It is the "UN" part of anything that I don't like. For example, un-pack, or un-answered or un-announced. I don't even like the word underwear because it starts with UN, which usually means there is more work or discomfort. Either way, I simply enjoy the packing phase. However, after getting rid of so many THINGS I thought we would be better off when it came down to the actual jump-across-the-giant-pond-packing-marathon. But, alas, it really didn't change the 6 suit case, 70 pounds per bag, limit.
When I think about packing my short 28 years into 6 large suit cases, I KNOW it's not a problem. But, I have a child who loves books and cars, and an awesome husband who is WAY more into fashion than I could ever be, sooooo....he has great shoes!! He has a lot of, uh.....great shoes, and clothes. He's a bargain shopper but he likes nice shoes and he'll hunt & hunt until he gets a cheap deal. I love my husband, and I'm not putting this out here for all of you wonderful people to see me shaming my husband, but the man has a shoe problem!! Okay, again...maybe adding in some drama, but we had to have a talk - I call it a shoe-ter-vention.
So finally I said today, "You have got to do something about the shoes, I mean come on. For the LOVE!!!" (I am a HUGE fan, by the way, of Jen Hatmaker, and her new book, For the Love, which is totally rocking my night time readings and giving me some serious encouragement all at the same time.) After some talking, he agreed to cut back on some of the things he packed, but not the shoes. He said to me, exactly in his own words, "The clothes will go before the shoes. I've had most of those shoes for at least 8 years." Honestly, I appreciated his honesty. And now I know if I throw anything out of his bag, the clothes go first!
While we are pretty much ready, minus the juggling of bags and weight and shoes and what not, we ARE ready. I think emotionally ready. Thankfully, a lot of the heavy lift and difficulty in this process was finished long ago - back in June. We rented our house, sold our car, totaled out the car I wrecked in May, and then we gave our dog, Ozzie, to a sweet, loving home. I have no idea how all of the pieces of the puzzle came together so quickly, or so perfectly, and the only way it all happened is this - God's timing. EVERY last detail has been put together - not by me, or Phil, or our board of directors, but God, all by Himself. He knew it was time, He knows it is time, and He is making it happen.
People have been saying a lot lately, "Wow!! That's so great!! Aren't you scared, though? Worried? Nervous?" Honestly, yes, to all of the above! I know for myself, I have been running through about 800 emotions (sorry, exaggerating again) every day. I get SO excited about going back to the culture, people, and country that God created & knit together, and has given us the opportunity to return to. Then, I stress over packing too much or too little, or I worry that we haven't said goodbye to someone who we might really hurt, and then I go back to being excited to see family & friends. It's kind of like riding the tea cup ride at Disney Land - at first it's really fun, and then you get a little dizzy, and then it's fun again, and then you're finally ready for the stinkin' ride to just STOP!! I feel like the planning has been coming for so many year, for so long, and now that it's here, let's GO!! But there is so much to do in just the next 6 short days. I mean, Durango, hello?! There is so much I'll miss about my hometown. We'll try to pack as much fun & time with family & friends over the next 6 days, and then, just as quickly as the dream started, we'll be off to begin again.
I think we'll be fine. The flights are long, and the schedule of flights is a little weird, but I am so thankful for a wonderful God who has taken a dream and turned it into reality. That's not to say there hasn't been hard work, and often times many tears of frustration or disappointment, but God has always had this dream in the palm of His hand. He knew the best time, the best place and the best way to begin this journey. I'm praying that we'll fix our eyes on Him during the journey and enjoy the ride. After all, life is meant to be lived - it is a gift, and we intend to chase our dreams until God calls us home.
If you know me well, I like packing. It is the "UN" part of anything that I don't like. For example, un-pack, or un-answered or un-announced. I don't even like the word underwear because it starts with UN, which usually means there is more work or discomfort. Either way, I simply enjoy the packing phase. However, after getting rid of so many THINGS I thought we would be better off when it came down to the actual jump-across-the-giant-pond-packing-marathon. But, alas, it really didn't change the 6 suit case, 70 pounds per bag, limit.
When I think about packing my short 28 years into 6 large suit cases, I KNOW it's not a problem. But, I have a child who loves books and cars, and an awesome husband who is WAY more into fashion than I could ever be, sooooo....he has great shoes!! He has a lot of, uh.....great shoes, and clothes. He's a bargain shopper but he likes nice shoes and he'll hunt & hunt until he gets a cheap deal. I love my husband, and I'm not putting this out here for all of you wonderful people to see me shaming my husband, but the man has a shoe problem!! Okay, again...maybe adding in some drama, but we had to have a talk - I call it a shoe-ter-vention.
While we are pretty much ready, minus the juggling of bags and weight and shoes and what not, we ARE ready. I think emotionally ready. Thankfully, a lot of the heavy lift and difficulty in this process was finished long ago - back in June. We rented our house, sold our car, totaled out the car I wrecked in May, and then we gave our dog, Ozzie, to a sweet, loving home. I have no idea how all of the pieces of the puzzle came together so quickly, or so perfectly, and the only way it all happened is this - God's timing. EVERY last detail has been put together - not by me, or Phil, or our board of directors, but God, all by Himself. He knew it was time, He knows it is time, and He is making it happen.
People have been saying a lot lately, "Wow!! That's so great!! Aren't you scared, though? Worried? Nervous?" Honestly, yes, to all of the above! I know for myself, I have been running through about 800 emotions (sorry, exaggerating again) every day. I get SO excited about going back to the culture, people, and country that God created & knit together, and has given us the opportunity to return to. Then, I stress over packing too much or too little, or I worry that we haven't said goodbye to someone who we might really hurt, and then I go back to being excited to see family & friends. It's kind of like riding the tea cup ride at Disney Land - at first it's really fun, and then you get a little dizzy, and then it's fun again, and then you're finally ready for the stinkin' ride to just STOP!! I feel like the planning has been coming for so many year, for so long, and now that it's here, let's GO!! But there is so much to do in just the next 6 short days. I mean, Durango, hello?! There is so much I'll miss about my hometown. We'll try to pack as much fun & time with family & friends over the next 6 days, and then, just as quickly as the dream started, we'll be off to begin again.
I think we'll be fine. The flights are long, and the schedule of flights is a little weird, but I am so thankful for a wonderful God who has taken a dream and turned it into reality. That's not to say there hasn't been hard work, and often times many tears of frustration or disappointment, but God has always had this dream in the palm of His hand. He knew the best time, the best place and the best way to begin this journey. I'm praying that we'll fix our eyes on Him during the journey and enjoy the ride. After all, life is meant to be lived - it is a gift, and we intend to chase our dreams until God calls us home.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Fun-draiser
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| Watermelon Carving by Chef Safari |
This last week has felt like one long, crazy day that won't end! But it's that good feeling of crazy, where you go to bed so tired it doesn't matter how much sleep you get, it will never be enough! And your body and feet hurt so bad you just want to take a bath, or at least sit down for longer than 30 seconds. All that said, it was so much fun. I still don't know how God did it but the fundraiser was a huge success and we added more money to our building fund. I think we can now safely say we can build about 1/3 of our first building. YAY!!!
If you missed the fundraiser, seriously - WHAT were you THINKING?!!! Okay, maybe all the caps were a little harsh, but lets be honest, in the little town of Durango, Colorado, where can you have an ethnically diverse meal? I don't think I have ever had African food in town anywhere, and the meal was a deal! Chef Safari is an amazing chef, and he works full time at the Strater Hotel. Between working his regular hours at the hotel, Chef put in another 12 hours putting together amazing spice combinations and flavors that made the roasted goat and the oxtail stew mind blowing!! I'm not even kidding - I've had several dishes Chef Safari has made, but these kept my brain wondering what in the world he was putting on the meat and the veggies and the rice and the dessert. Everything was amazing, and the fellowship was fabulous. Phil and I were able to share our hearts about this project and why we sold everything, rented out our home, sold our cars, and why we are moving our family to Mozambique in 2 weeks!!
Sharing our dream always inspires me. If you have a dream that you haven't spoken to anyone about, I would encourage you.......LET IT OUT!! Of course, find someone you can trust, someone who will encourage you and pray for that journey with you. But there is power to letting it out of your brain and even just putting it on paper. I believe God created us to be more successful and fulfill our dreams when we partner with others who will work along side us. After all, we were CREATED for community!
As we prepare to leave in the next 2 weeks, there is one thing I would like to ask of anyone reading this - prayer. We would appreciate every prayer lifted up on our behalf. The transition into life in Mozambique will be quite a challenge at first, and now we have a 5 year old kindergartner to think of as well, so please pray that Jadon will adjust & grow to love the country and people we love! Please also pray for provisions - we have put all our "eggs" into opening the orphanage and we are trusting God to provide, so please pray for us to also trust Him.
And one last thing - if you missed out on the fundraiser, Chef Safari's culinary creations can be tasted at the Mahogany Grill & the Strater Hotel any night of the week. He has become such a wonderful part of the Durango community in the short time he has been here. He is not only a kind man, who volunteered many hours working with us to make 2 fundraisers happen in the last 3 months, but he has a spirit about him. Anytime I am near him, or his sweet wife, Lucy, I feel inspired. I remember that every struggle comes to an end, and God fulfills his promises. I will forever be grateful to the Strater for bringing Chef here, and to God for uniting us all together for His greater purpose.
We'll keep you posted, right here, about any needs, stories of success and I'm sure at some point, stories of struggles and failures while in Mozambique. If you would like to help make this orphanage a reality, you can donate on a monthly basis or send one time donations to: 35 E Animas Village Lane, Durango, CO, 81301. All donations are tax deductible.
The countdown will surely get away from us. We are down to days now, not months or weeks. We can't wait to update you on our progress. Until then, God bless you!
Monday, July 27, 2015
African Feast!
With only 4 - yes, FOUR - short weeks left, we are coming down to the wire on this new adventure we are about to embark upon. Before we leave, we are hosting an African Flavors dinner at the River Church in Durango, CO, on Sunday, August 9th at 5pm. Tickets are a suggested donation of $25 per adult, and children under 10 are free.
But here's the kicker.....................the chef for our event is World Renowned!! Have you heard of Zanzibar? Ahh yes, a beautiful island off the coast of Tanzania.....truly breath taking!
Courtesy Middle East Magazine
Our friend, board member and chef for our African Flavors Dinner, nick named "Chef Safari," worked in world famous resorts in Zanzibar, putting his culinary skills to use on this tropical island. He is now the head chef at the Mahogany Grill in Durango, CO, and our community is so blessed to have him!
Chef Safari is a BIG DEAL. If his culinary skills can't woo you, his personality alone will make you fall in love with his mission to help children in need. He is larger than life, and he makes a mean oxtail stew!
So friends - don't wait to get your tickets until the day of the event!! Reserve your seats NOW! Call Laura Olaniyi at 970-946-4809 to reserve your tickets, or email us at heartfortheneedy@gmail.com. You'll have the opportunity to hear more about what will be happening in Mozambique, and how to stay connected as the orphanage progresses. And, you can sample the oxtail stew for yourself! See you on August 9th!
But here's the kicker.....................the chef for our event is World Renowned!! Have you heard of Zanzibar? Ahh yes, a beautiful island off the coast of Tanzania.....truly breath taking!
Our friend, board member and chef for our African Flavors Dinner, nick named "Chef Safari," worked in world famous resorts in Zanzibar, putting his culinary skills to use on this tropical island. He is now the head chef at the Mahogany Grill in Durango, CO, and our community is so blessed to have him!
Chef Safari is a BIG DEAL. If his culinary skills can't woo you, his personality alone will make you fall in love with his mission to help children in need. He is larger than life, and he makes a mean oxtail stew!
So friends - don't wait to get your tickets until the day of the event!! Reserve your seats NOW! Call Laura Olaniyi at 970-946-4809 to reserve your tickets, or email us at heartfortheneedy@gmail.com. You'll have the opportunity to hear more about what will be happening in Mozambique, and how to stay connected as the orphanage progresses. And, you can sample the oxtail stew for yourself! See you on August 9th!
Monday, July 20, 2015
Preparations as the clock ticks away...
So many things have happened in the last 2 months. I'm still not sure that I have wrapped my head around everything that has happened. I left my job on May 29th, and started cleaning out our house for our first tenant. We sold what we could, donated the rest, and kept a few boxes of irreplaceable items: photos, Jadon's art work, and Christmas ornaments from when I was a kiddo. I had a great time going threw my most prized possessions, which really have zero monetary value. The process felt very slow and labored, but it was cleansing. The emotions involved in moving again in less than a year was hard, but we all pulled together and made it fun.
Right before we finished cleaning out our house, we sold our 2nd car and put the money away for our trip. I totaled our newer car over Mother's Day weekend in May, but it ended up being a blessing in disguise - one less item to sell or worry about. We packed up the 6 suit cases we are allowed for our flight and moved back to Durango, where it all began, and we are currently staying with my parents until we head out on August 25th to drive to Denver and fly out on August 26th.
Between cleaning out the house, selling the car and packing our bags, I managed to squeeze in a much needed trip with my 2 best friends. We headed up to Oregon and spent 6 glorious days hiking, laughing and enjoying the breweries in Portland & Eugene. My soul needed it more than I knew. I have always had the most amazing friends, and I know that not everyone has been so blessed. I know how important my friends are to me, and while it was difficult to say goodbye, we are already planning excursions in Mozambique and other parts of Africa. Goodbyes don't have to last forever.
With 5 short weeks left in the count down to August 26th, there is still a "To Do" list a mile long! From Phil finishing up summer classes and his final weeks of work, to a fundraiser at the River Church in August, to the Visa applications that have to be sent off tomorrow, and the final travel preparations for flights & hotel stays, each day seems to be filled with a long list to accomplish. In the hours in between tasks, I try to find the joy in the preparation - seeing friends, getting to collaborate with the wonderful people on our board of directors, and the opportunity to spend the summer enjoying the beauty of Colorado. I am so blessed to have a little bit of down time, and it has been so nice staying with my parents - they help out with Jadon, and my mom cooks the most amazing meals & she made a fabulous coconut cake for Phil's birthday! We really are spoiled.
In the next few weeks, we know that goodbyes will become more and more familiar and it is difficult to think that we don't know the next time we'll get to hug the people we love, who have supported us through many different phases of life. But all of it is so, so worth it. To live out a dream, it IS worth all of it. To never wonder, "why didn't we just try?!" Here's to no regrets, no looking back, and moving forward on an adventure we will never truly be prepared for, but our feet are stepping out in faith, knowing it is almost time to GO - 36 more days!
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Beautiful Mess
Since making the decision that moving to Mozambique was what God was calling our family to do, it seemed like everything was moving forward & we were finally feeling like we were fulfilling a life long dream. And then the challenges started...one after another.
First, 2014 ended with Phil leaving a job that he loved but was unable to grow in, and it was ultimately decided through a lot of prayer that it was time for Phil to move on. We made it through the holidays, and we were grateful for God pressing upon our family to save as much money as possible in the months prior to Phil leaving his job.
The new year started off with high hopes and new adventures, including a new job for Phil. He was so excited and ready to start working again. As January came to a close, the oil & gas industry fell apart in Northern Colorado, and after 4 short weeks at his new job, he was laid off. However, God faithfully blessed Phil with a new job within hours of being laid off. But, this new job required more traveling than ever before. From Craig & Steamboat, to Utah and New Mexico, we didn't realize how much Phil would be away from our home in Firestone, CO.
As our family adjusted to Dad being away from home, and Jadon & I began creating a new routine with just the two of us at home, more obstacles and challenges came our way. In March, there was a mass found in my uterus. I wasn't too worried because the doctor wasn't overly concerned, and it ended up being nothing at all. Praise GOD!!
As I was feeling better about everything, I turned in my resignation letter at work in March (I gave nearly 3 months notice!). I began feeling so much peace about all of the changes happening in our life. We started selling things we no longer needed, stopped buying things we knew would never make it through the big move over the pond, and I began really digging into the Bible. I found that I really hadn't connected with God in this way since I was a young believer. As all of the little challenges continued, and having Phil working away from us, Jadon & I began to make if through each day in a more positive and hopeful way.
Finally, the weeks were winding down and I started packing. Phil & I talked about what to do with our recently purchased home - do we sell it while the market is hot or do we rent it, and should we hire a property manager? All of these things were coming quickly and we really needed a chance to sit down and talk, face to face. Then, on a rare occasion we had the opportunity to spend the weekend in Durango with my parents and Phil. Just like a typical Colorado spring, the weather was completely crazy. We left on a Friday evening, and the roads were covered in inches of rain water, and south of Pueblo, I couldn't see more than 5 feet in the thick fog. After 2 coyotes ran across the road coming down La Vita Pass, I decided it was best to stay the night in Alamosa, of course only after getting pulled over for a head light being out!! After all, a 4 1/2 hour drive had turned into nearly 7. I was ready to get some rest.
We spent the night in Alamosa, and we got back on the road Saturday morning. About 30 minutes into our 3 hour drive, it started to rain again. I noticed a truck down the road that was trying to turn and the truck was sliding all over the place. I had my cruise control set to 68, and I quickly turned it off. As soon as the car went from dry pavement to wet pavement, time slowed down and I remember every detail. The wet pavement soon turned to ice and sleet, the car fish tailed, and I almost lost control of the car. As soon as the car straightened back out, we went into a 180 degree spin, and Jadon & I, along with our pup Ozzie, were sliding backwards down the opposite lane, with 2 cars headed our way. Jadon began to scream, and he kept saying he was scared and he wanted me to stop. I had no control over the car so I reached back, grabbed his hand, and told him everything would be okay.
The car continued to slide down the road backwards, and then the car hit some gravel, and we spun around 2-3 times, went right down a ditch, through a barb wire fence, and we barreled head on for an electric pole. I remember thinking out loud that if we hit the pole head on, I would likely be injured and the air bags would deploy and Ozzie would probably die. I prayed just before the car hit the pole, and suddenly, we turned again and hit the pole on the passenger side - not head on.
The car came to a stop, I let go of Jadon's hand, and I got out of the car. I could smell burnt rubber, and the only thing I could do was scream. I was so angry because I knew what was happening, and I knew what the challenges of the last few months had really been - an attack. We had finally made the decision to do what I believe God has been asking us to do for the last 3 years, and now Satan was attacking our family. Anytime in my life when things were going well and life seemed "easy," I wasn't really taking an active role in my relationship with God...I was just sitting back and doing whatever I wanted to do. BUT - when I've prayerfully asked God for guidance, and I followed Him, things would always fall apart, and God would draw me close to Him, and then everything would work out but never as I had planned - always better.
If the last few months have taught me anything, it is this: When Satan attacks us, God will thwart his plans and He will make the plans He has for our lives even more evident. And if you aren't sure if the decisions you have made are part of God's plans, just sit back and wait because Satan will eventually start to attack you. And when he does, draw closer to God & give up all control to Him.
I'm a control freak by nature - I'm not really a "type A" personality, but I like to have control over whatever I can. I like to make financial plans, packing lists, book lists, to do lists...just about everything I do has a list! But in these last few months, especially in the recent car accident, God has shown me that He has control, and I don't. Trust me when I say that I would much rather have the Creator in control than me in control! I make a mess of everything...my whole life is a mess that God has pieced back together. I've made poor decisions, said hurtful things to others, ruined relationships, and so many other things. But I am a beautiful mess. I am loved by a God who loves me enough to let me try to do this life on my own, and when I totally screw it up, He comes along side me & lets me know I can try again - on His terms.
I think this has all been a lesson - a lesson of trust, hope, strength and endurance. These challenges have been minor set backs, small issues compared to what many people face on a daily basis. But if I can learn to trust God in the minor, frustrating things, I can learn to trust Him in the big things, too. And, maybe that was the point.
First, 2014 ended with Phil leaving a job that he loved but was unable to grow in, and it was ultimately decided through a lot of prayer that it was time for Phil to move on. We made it through the holidays, and we were grateful for God pressing upon our family to save as much money as possible in the months prior to Phil leaving his job.
The new year started off with high hopes and new adventures, including a new job for Phil. He was so excited and ready to start working again. As January came to a close, the oil & gas industry fell apart in Northern Colorado, and after 4 short weeks at his new job, he was laid off. However, God faithfully blessed Phil with a new job within hours of being laid off. But, this new job required more traveling than ever before. From Craig & Steamboat, to Utah and New Mexico, we didn't realize how much Phil would be away from our home in Firestone, CO.
As our family adjusted to Dad being away from home, and Jadon & I began creating a new routine with just the two of us at home, more obstacles and challenges came our way. In March, there was a mass found in my uterus. I wasn't too worried because the doctor wasn't overly concerned, and it ended up being nothing at all. Praise GOD!!
As I was feeling better about everything, I turned in my resignation letter at work in March (I gave nearly 3 months notice!). I began feeling so much peace about all of the changes happening in our life. We started selling things we no longer needed, stopped buying things we knew would never make it through the big move over the pond, and I began really digging into the Bible. I found that I really hadn't connected with God in this way since I was a young believer. As all of the little challenges continued, and having Phil working away from us, Jadon & I began to make if through each day in a more positive and hopeful way.
Finally, the weeks were winding down and I started packing. Phil & I talked about what to do with our recently purchased home - do we sell it while the market is hot or do we rent it, and should we hire a property manager? All of these things were coming quickly and we really needed a chance to sit down and talk, face to face. Then, on a rare occasion we had the opportunity to spend the weekend in Durango with my parents and Phil. Just like a typical Colorado spring, the weather was completely crazy. We left on a Friday evening, and the roads were covered in inches of rain water, and south of Pueblo, I couldn't see more than 5 feet in the thick fog. After 2 coyotes ran across the road coming down La Vita Pass, I decided it was best to stay the night in Alamosa, of course only after getting pulled over for a head light being out!! After all, a 4 1/2 hour drive had turned into nearly 7. I was ready to get some rest.
We spent the night in Alamosa, and we got back on the road Saturday morning. About 30 minutes into our 3 hour drive, it started to rain again. I noticed a truck down the road that was trying to turn and the truck was sliding all over the place. I had my cruise control set to 68, and I quickly turned it off. As soon as the car went from dry pavement to wet pavement, time slowed down and I remember every detail. The wet pavement soon turned to ice and sleet, the car fish tailed, and I almost lost control of the car. As soon as the car straightened back out, we went into a 180 degree spin, and Jadon & I, along with our pup Ozzie, were sliding backwards down the opposite lane, with 2 cars headed our way. Jadon began to scream, and he kept saying he was scared and he wanted me to stop. I had no control over the car so I reached back, grabbed his hand, and told him everything would be okay.
The car continued to slide down the road backwards, and then the car hit some gravel, and we spun around 2-3 times, went right down a ditch, through a barb wire fence, and we barreled head on for an electric pole. I remember thinking out loud that if we hit the pole head on, I would likely be injured and the air bags would deploy and Ozzie would probably die. I prayed just before the car hit the pole, and suddenly, we turned again and hit the pole on the passenger side - not head on.
The car came to a stop, I let go of Jadon's hand, and I got out of the car. I could smell burnt rubber, and the only thing I could do was scream. I was so angry because I knew what was happening, and I knew what the challenges of the last few months had really been - an attack. We had finally made the decision to do what I believe God has been asking us to do for the last 3 years, and now Satan was attacking our family. Anytime in my life when things were going well and life seemed "easy," I wasn't really taking an active role in my relationship with God...I was just sitting back and doing whatever I wanted to do. BUT - when I've prayerfully asked God for guidance, and I followed Him, things would always fall apart, and God would draw me close to Him, and then everything would work out but never as I had planned - always better.
If the last few months have taught me anything, it is this: When Satan attacks us, God will thwart his plans and He will make the plans He has for our lives even more evident. And if you aren't sure if the decisions you have made are part of God's plans, just sit back and wait because Satan will eventually start to attack you. And when he does, draw closer to God & give up all control to Him.
I'm a control freak by nature - I'm not really a "type A" personality, but I like to have control over whatever I can. I like to make financial plans, packing lists, book lists, to do lists...just about everything I do has a list! But in these last few months, especially in the recent car accident, God has shown me that He has control, and I don't. Trust me when I say that I would much rather have the Creator in control than me in control! I make a mess of everything...my whole life is a mess that God has pieced back together. I've made poor decisions, said hurtful things to others, ruined relationships, and so many other things. But I am a beautiful mess. I am loved by a God who loves me enough to let me try to do this life on my own, and when I totally screw it up, He comes along side me & lets me know I can try again - on His terms.
I think this has all been a lesson - a lesson of trust, hope, strength and endurance. These challenges have been minor set backs, small issues compared to what many people face on a daily basis. But if I can learn to trust God in the minor, frustrating things, I can learn to trust Him in the big things, too. And, maybe that was the point.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Ramblings: Provisions, Loving Others & Jesus
Small miracles come each day. I see God provide for my family's needs when we thought, "how in the world are we going to get by now?!" But when Phil was laid off a month ago, I knew we would be fine. I knew we wouldn't have to worry because God's got it, and all we have to do is trust Him. I know there have been many times in my own life where this was much easier said than done. However, this time felt so much different. I felt peace surrounding the lay off and we both knew God would take this situation and turn it into something great because that's what He does!
Phil left at 4am about 10 days ago to head down to a short term job in New Mexico. While it is never ideal for us to be separated by distance like this, we make it work because we know there is an end in sight. We are committed to each other and we know this is just a season; it isn't a permanent arrangement and God is providing for us in the midst of it all.
I also just have to take second to really brag on my husband. While sometimes I have to BEG him to sit still, I love that he has such a giving heart. When I tell him I know someone who needs something, or I know there will be a shortage for something for a client at work, he tells me to take care of people and make helping others a priority. We both have to make a huge effort to keep from over extending ourselves and burning ourselves out to the point we don't have any time or energy left for each other, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
There is something else that I REALLY love about my husband. If you have ever met my husband, he wants to know you - he wants a relationship with you, and not just the "American" friendships of waving from your front porch but not even knowing your neighbor's names. He really has a heart for community and for real, genuine friendships for life, not just for a short time. And many people have hurt him or walked all over him & taken advantage, but he is very forgiving even when I want to be bitter or stay in my un-forgiveness. He is quick to trust, slow to judge and loves people - plain & simple.
My husband is also an amazing man of God. He reminds me often of how far we have come & how far God has carried us, where we have been and where we are going. He never once doubts my relationship with God or doubts anything I tell him that God is speaking over our family. He also rarely discourages me from anything. He always encourages and supports whatever I want to do, even if it means putting his own personal goals on hold. I'm not saying he's a push over, but I am saying he makes sacrifices for what is best for our family as a whole. He really has a vision that is aligned with God, and the future God has in store for us. We know moving to Mozambique will require a lot of sacrifice, but if we don't go, we both agree we won't be fulfilled here.
Yes, we know God can use us wherever we are - even in our own backyards. It shouldn't take us moving to another country to be generous, compassionate, loving, selfless and down right kind. People should see how we behave on a daily basis and know there is something different about those crazy Jesus people!!
So, in everything you do, make people wonder what kind of cool-aide you're drinking. Give that waitress a fat tip and tell her about Jesus. Give that homeless guy a meal or give him a place to shower or sleep for the night, and tell him about Jesus. Give someone extra quarters at the laundry mat and tell them about Jesus. Buy someone's coffee next time you're out and tell them about Jesus. Whatever you choose to do, do it in a way that it brings a smile to God's face, knowing that you have cared for people who are no different you or I - we are imperfect, sinful, hateful & selfish people. Yep - I'll admit it right away. I'm so imperfect it's not even funny. I like to swear and I have no idea why. It just makes me feel better sometimes and it drives my husband crazy!! But I know I have to find better & different ways to let out anger & frustration than dropping an F-bomb or even saying something unkind or gossiping about someone. None of these things show love and I'm sure if someone heard me say what I want to say most of the time, they would not readily assume I love Jesus.
There you go - ramblings from a mom's heart, a wife's heart and a Jesus lover.
Phil left at 4am about 10 days ago to head down to a short term job in New Mexico. While it is never ideal for us to be separated by distance like this, we make it work because we know there is an end in sight. We are committed to each other and we know this is just a season; it isn't a permanent arrangement and God is providing for us in the midst of it all.
I also just have to take second to really brag on my husband. While sometimes I have to BEG him to sit still, I love that he has such a giving heart. When I tell him I know someone who needs something, or I know there will be a shortage for something for a client at work, he tells me to take care of people and make helping others a priority. We both have to make a huge effort to keep from over extending ourselves and burning ourselves out to the point we don't have any time or energy left for each other, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
There is something else that I REALLY love about my husband. If you have ever met my husband, he wants to know you - he wants a relationship with you, and not just the "American" friendships of waving from your front porch but not even knowing your neighbor's names. He really has a heart for community and for real, genuine friendships for life, not just for a short time. And many people have hurt him or walked all over him & taken advantage, but he is very forgiving even when I want to be bitter or stay in my un-forgiveness. He is quick to trust, slow to judge and loves people - plain & simple.
My husband is also an amazing man of God. He reminds me often of how far we have come & how far God has carried us, where we have been and where we are going. He never once doubts my relationship with God or doubts anything I tell him that God is speaking over our family. He also rarely discourages me from anything. He always encourages and supports whatever I want to do, even if it means putting his own personal goals on hold. I'm not saying he's a push over, but I am saying he makes sacrifices for what is best for our family as a whole. He really has a vision that is aligned with God, and the future God has in store for us. We know moving to Mozambique will require a lot of sacrifice, but if we don't go, we both agree we won't be fulfilled here.
Yes, we know God can use us wherever we are - even in our own backyards. It shouldn't take us moving to another country to be generous, compassionate, loving, selfless and down right kind. People should see how we behave on a daily basis and know there is something different about those crazy Jesus people!!
So, in everything you do, make people wonder what kind of cool-aide you're drinking. Give that waitress a fat tip and tell her about Jesus. Give that homeless guy a meal or give him a place to shower or sleep for the night, and tell him about Jesus. Give someone extra quarters at the laundry mat and tell them about Jesus. Buy someone's coffee next time you're out and tell them about Jesus. Whatever you choose to do, do it in a way that it brings a smile to God's face, knowing that you have cared for people who are no different you or I - we are imperfect, sinful, hateful & selfish people. Yep - I'll admit it right away. I'm so imperfect it's not even funny. I like to swear and I have no idea why. It just makes me feel better sometimes and it drives my husband crazy!! But I know I have to find better & different ways to let out anger & frustration than dropping an F-bomb or even saying something unkind or gossiping about someone. None of these things show love and I'm sure if someone heard me say what I want to say most of the time, they would not readily assume I love Jesus.
There you go - ramblings from a mom's heart, a wife's heart and a Jesus lover.
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