Since making the decision to follow our calling without having all of the answers or even so much know how we're going to get to Mozambique, I started feeling overwhelmed. I think this is a perfectly normal response whenever a big decision is made in anyone's life, but I felt so overwhelmed my chest started to tighten up, and suddenly I felt as though I couldn't breath. I really had to stop and take a really focused, deep breath before I could I manage to calm myself down. I couldn't comprehend what it was that we had actually decided to do. I felt as though we have been called, so now we just go. Seemed simple enough at the time, right?
Uh, no. Totally wrong. I still don't think I have completely comprehended what is about to happen. "Stepping out in faith" feels like something that is said by those who have done something like this before - something so life changing you wouldn't be able to understand until you have walked where their feet have been. I want to feel like I have done this before, like I have completely stepped out in faith without holding back.
I spent some time reflecting on times in my life, or in the life of my small family, when we have walked out our faith or walked blindly and trusted God. I honestly feel like quitting my job and moving back to Colorado last year was a huge leap of faith. We had no idea where we were going to live, I didn't have a job, we didn't have a school lined up for Jadon, and we had no idea what we were going to do with all of our stuff if we couldn't find a place to live quickly. But I put in about a months notice at work, my brother & sister-in-law opened their home to us, and I began putting my resume out into Northern Colorado. It was a scary & big step, but God saw us through it all. And, after a short 2 months, we were home owners in a small, safe and beautiful community near work, the mountains and the city! It was a huge blessing to have God walk us through the home buying process.
I remember when I was about 14, I was having a lot of issues and I went to my family doctor. I was told at 14 that it would be really difficult for me to have children, if at all. I didn't worry about it until about 7 years later, when I married my love and we began talking about having a baby. I was sure it would take many years of trying and testing & being poked and prodded. But we trusted God would grow our family in His time, and in His way - either through adoption or a child grown from our bodies. In a few short weeks, we found out we were expecting our little man.
I keep thinking of these major miracles God has worked in our lives. But moving away from our families, moving away from everything I know and into a complete unknown is very different. Not to mention the fact that we will miss out on a lot - weddings, funerals, bridal showers, new babies, new families, and so much more. We will miss the beautiful parts of life and the ugly disappointments of life. But I think this is the least we can do. Jesus died for us, so that we would have life - so we could be free to live and love others, and show the world how much Jesus loves us. The least I can do is give up my life to this calling - to this project & mission that is impossible on my own, but possible with God.
I don't think we'll know what is ahead for us, or be prepared to face many of the challenges we will be presented with early on. Relying on God will be the only way to get anything accomplished. I know that my education and my experience in child welfare may prepare a small part of me for what we will see, but it won't prepare us for the sacrifices we will make, the pain we will feel when one of the children we serve dies, or when we witness heart wrenching cases of abuse or neglect.
I'm not writing this to glorify what we are doing, or to complain about what we will miss by leaving a comfortable life in the U.S. I am, however, just trying to process through how this will all work out. I don't know how we will afford plane tickets, how we will afford to live in Mozambique, how we will move all of our stuff from our home to another country, 10,000 miles away. I wonder if we'll be around to help my parents when they grow old, if I'll meet my nieces and nephews, if I'll get to see my sister get married or watch my brother get married.
I don't have any of the answers. I'm not even sure how we will fulfill our financial obligations in the next few months to come due to oil & gas plummeting so Phil was laid off 2 weeks ago. BUT!! What I do know is this:
GOD IS BIGGER THAN ALL OF THIS. GOD KNOWS - HE WILL LEAD, HE WILL PROVIDE, HE WILL DIRECT & HE WILL BLESS.
There will be frustrating times ahead, there is no doubt. There will be times of questioning, worry & stress. There will be sadness, anger, injustice and defeat. But more than anything, I look forward to the small triumphs. If there is anything I'm learning through this whole process it is this: I look forward to God growing us, and humbling us. Relying on God to meet our needs requires so much faith. But in 28 years, God has never let me or my family go without anything, even in the most difficult times.
The adventure begins now, and even if we don't have all the answers to the HOW questions, we don't have to worry about it. God said go, so we're going and trusting that he will provide. And, He will, because He always has.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Thursday, January 29, 2015
The timing will never be right...
I love the beginning of a new year - the promise of changes, the promise of hope, and the promise of more memories to make with those we love. But this year has started off with a lot of one thing...
CHANGE.
God has laid it upon our hearts to make it back to Mozambique this summer as residents. We prayed about what to do when God called us, and we reached out to those who have walked along side us, and asked them to join with us in praying about what to do. Ultimately, we heard God's voice loud and clear, and everyone who prayed with us told us to just GO! We committed to leaving the end of June or early July, and this dream we have been working towards for so long suddenly became a reality. And then something unexpected happened...
As we all have noticed, oil & gas prices have been dropping quickly and quite dramatically. I was really enjoying filling my gas tank up for less than $20, until Phil's new job started to cancel jobs locally and out of town. We both knew there was a possibility that things would slow down due to the drop in oil, but we never expected the worst - yep, lay offs. We both have always trusted that God would take care of us, and trust me when I say, He truly is. But Phil did come home from work on Tuesday with a letter that said he was being laid off, along with about 100 other employees.
As Phil began applying for new jobs & working on updating his resume, my job has been so stressful and difficult for the last few weeks. Child protection is no joke, and you really have to believe in what you are doing & be willing to make sacrifices to do the best work you can do. I've been working at least 60 hours each week trying to catch up with my ever growing caseload, and for the most part, I'm barely keeping my head above water. So while I've been throwing myself into my work, Phil is looking for new opportunities, and Jadon is caught somewhere in the middle of it all.
So many things in this life distract us from what is the most important. My top 3 most important priorities in my life are: 1. God 2. My husband 3. Jadon. There is no room for me to make worrying a priority, or let doubt creep into our hearts. Stress is plentiful in this world, and we know that each day has enough problems of its own.
Putting our own "problems" in perspective is also the fact that there is horrible flooding in Mozambique right now, and friends & family have already reported how desperate the situation is becoming. Food is expensive and scarce, and the electricity is still out. There are roads that have been washed out, food plants have been shut down due to no electricity, and there are 150,000 people that have been force from their homes.
Even though the timing is horrible in our eyes, and it seems as though there is yet another obstacle in the way of getting back to Mozambique, I think God will take this situation and make all of these circumstances work for the most amazing outcome we could never have imagined. We know that God is present in Mozambique and know He can do great things in the midst of this storm. We trust that even though the timing is off, and we have to have more FAITH to carry us through the troubles & doubts, God will make a beautiful story to tell.
CHANGE.
God has laid it upon our hearts to make it back to Mozambique this summer as residents. We prayed about what to do when God called us, and we reached out to those who have walked along side us, and asked them to join with us in praying about what to do. Ultimately, we heard God's voice loud and clear, and everyone who prayed with us told us to just GO! We committed to leaving the end of June or early July, and this dream we have been working towards for so long suddenly became a reality. And then something unexpected happened...
As we all have noticed, oil & gas prices have been dropping quickly and quite dramatically. I was really enjoying filling my gas tank up for less than $20, until Phil's new job started to cancel jobs locally and out of town. We both knew there was a possibility that things would slow down due to the drop in oil, but we never expected the worst - yep, lay offs. We both have always trusted that God would take care of us, and trust me when I say, He truly is. But Phil did come home from work on Tuesday with a letter that said he was being laid off, along with about 100 other employees.
As Phil began applying for new jobs & working on updating his resume, my job has been so stressful and difficult for the last few weeks. Child protection is no joke, and you really have to believe in what you are doing & be willing to make sacrifices to do the best work you can do. I've been working at least 60 hours each week trying to catch up with my ever growing caseload, and for the most part, I'm barely keeping my head above water. So while I've been throwing myself into my work, Phil is looking for new opportunities, and Jadon is caught somewhere in the middle of it all.
So many things in this life distract us from what is the most important. My top 3 most important priorities in my life are: 1. God 2. My husband 3. Jadon. There is no room for me to make worrying a priority, or let doubt creep into our hearts. Stress is plentiful in this world, and we know that each day has enough problems of its own.
Putting our own "problems" in perspective is also the fact that there is horrible flooding in Mozambique right now, and friends & family have already reported how desperate the situation is becoming. Food is expensive and scarce, and the electricity is still out. There are roads that have been washed out, food plants have been shut down due to no electricity, and there are 150,000 people that have been force from their homes.
Even though the timing is horrible in our eyes, and it seems as though there is yet another obstacle in the way of getting back to Mozambique, I think God will take this situation and make all of these circumstances work for the most amazing outcome we could never have imagined. We know that God is present in Mozambique and know He can do great things in the midst of this storm. We trust that even though the timing is off, and we have to have more FAITH to carry us through the troubles & doubts, God will make a beautiful story to tell.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
GO - GO NOW
Our family has been planning for a future in Africa for almost 6 years now. Building an orphanage was the single most frightening journey we've ever been on, but it has always been a dream set in our hearts by God. I can't believe how much time has gone by since the very beginning of this adventure. There have been so many triumphs but even more frustrations. We've experienced moments of pure joy & peace through out the process, but we continue to be confronted with challenge after challenge that we can't seem to overcome. We have numerous family members & friends in Mozambique who have exhausted every connection and favor to try to help. But now, we know that there is a reason this is not working - we were called 6 years ago to GO, and for some reason we thought we had to do this is in a well thought out, logical way. When God asks, you take a step of FAITH and GO. God will figure out the rest.
When God calls us as people of faith to go do something, we should have faith to do what He has asked and then trust that He will figure out all of the details. I happen to be a very controlling personality who likes to have a plan and then put that plan into action. I don't go on vacation without making a list and a loose itinerary. I have to know - to some degree - what's next! I want to be prepared for all the adventures. However, I think being in child protection has caused me to be overly concerned about having a plan for everything. This happens to zap some of the fun and excitement out of the unknown. And, I believe this is another reason why God has been moving us to a place of accepting our calling more seriously, with a sense of urgency.
To put it simply, it's time for us to GO. We don't know how, but we are willing to GO. Laura & Jadon will go first, and when Philemon is finished with his degree, he will come, too. So June 2015 has now become GO time!
We've truly been praying about this and feeling God pulling at out hearts to just GO for well over a year now, and possibly longer. But we weren't really listening with our hearts. Our heads were trying to be logical and plan and have results of some kind in Mozambique before we picked up and left. But between my mom and a family friend, both said if God calls, then GO - He will figure out the HOW piece. We'll need to raise support, figure out the logistics and needs, and we'll need partners willing to walk along side us, both spiritually & financially. But God's got this - and we know He will direct our path. We will certainly share more details as they come. Please pray for us as we dive in head first and GO!
When God calls us as people of faith to go do something, we should have faith to do what He has asked and then trust that He will figure out all of the details. I happen to be a very controlling personality who likes to have a plan and then put that plan into action. I don't go on vacation without making a list and a loose itinerary. I have to know - to some degree - what's next! I want to be prepared for all the adventures. However, I think being in child protection has caused me to be overly concerned about having a plan for everything. This happens to zap some of the fun and excitement out of the unknown. And, I believe this is another reason why God has been moving us to a place of accepting our calling more seriously, with a sense of urgency.
To put it simply, it's time for us to GO. We don't know how, but we are willing to GO. Laura & Jadon will go first, and when Philemon is finished with his degree, he will come, too. So June 2015 has now become GO time!
We've truly been praying about this and feeling God pulling at out hearts to just GO for well over a year now, and possibly longer. But we weren't really listening with our hearts. Our heads were trying to be logical and plan and have results of some kind in Mozambique before we picked up and left. But between my mom and a family friend, both said if God calls, then GO - He will figure out the HOW piece. We'll need to raise support, figure out the logistics and needs, and we'll need partners willing to walk along side us, both spiritually & financially. But God's got this - and we know He will direct our path. We will certainly share more details as they come. Please pray for us as we dive in head first and GO!
Monday, February 4, 2013
That's it! We're MOVING!!
Where do I even begin to explain the craziness that was Phil's recent journey to Mozambique?! I can't describe the frustration and tears that we BOTH felt the first 7 days of his 13 day journey. I will warn you right now - this will be kinda long, but the story of what God did will amaze you, especially if you have ever been to a 3rd world country. But if you stick it out, I promise you will be just as amazed as I am that so much was accomplished! So read on, friends, and discover the exciting next phase to opening this orphanage for those sweet babies. And, read our EXCITING NEWS!!!
First, let me apologize this took so long. However, God has been moving greatly in our lives and we needed to spend some time praying and fasting before we addressed what God was telling us to tell the world, so to speak. Phil's journey was amazing. He had trouble in every stage of his trip. Apparently, South Africa has a new law, adopted in 2011, that any person who is NOT a citizen of the U.S. must have a transit Visa to even pass through their airport, even if you are not leaving the airport. (Phil only has a Green Card at this point, and we are getting ready to submit his application for U.S. Citizenship.)
Because of this new law, when Phil arrived on the first stop of his flight in London, they would not allow him to get on his flight to South Africa!! Thankfully, God intervened and the staff members were very kind and accommodating. They helped re-route Phil's flight through Kenya and then into the capital city of Mozambique, called Maputo.
Once Phil arrived in Maputo, he was able to stay with some friends until the remainder of his flight up to Nampula would be rebooked. (Nampula is about 865 miles from Maputo - a 15 hour bus trip!) Because Phil's original flight was re-routed, the airline in Mozambique refused to honor his ticket from Maputo to Nampula. He tried everything. He begged, he pleaded, he explained the reason why he had to get to Nampula. He even tried to get a bus ticket for the 2 day journey to his destination. No one wanted to listen. Satan was working over time to make sure Phil didn't get the land registered, so we could never get back to Mozambique, so we could never love those sweet kiddos who have no one to tuck them in at night or tell them, "I love you."
To put it nicely, it was a disaster. We spend hours on the phone between the two of us, getting the run around, (and then a huge phone bill!) and becoming very frustrated. But through it all, Phil kept his eye on the prize. If I said he was a trooper, that would be a HUGE understatement.
Finally, Phil expressed his frustration to a friend in Mozambique who lives in another city, not far from Maputo. We prayed for a door to be opened, and then, with one message to a good friend, the doors flew open! Our friend helped Phil get in touch with a person in a position of power and that person lead him to the director of the airline. Phil explained he had to get to Nampula to help get our land registered so we can open an orphanage. The gentlemen who helped him was so kind and receptive, he told Phil, "You won't pay another DIME to get on that flight tomorrow. You are here to help our people! It is the least we can do."
With that said, Phil's last bag FINALLY arrived (He lost all his bags when his flight was re-routed through Kenya) and he took off for Nampula the very next morning! And, the greatest blessing of all: he was able to get a transit Visa for South Africa while waiting in Maputo, so he could fly home through SA without ANY problems!!! God was so faithful the WHOLE time. Satan attacked and God continually crushed every attempt he made to ruin the trip for Phil. At that moment, Phil & I both felt God's presence in this project, and we will NEVER turn back.
Phil only got to spend 5 days in Nampula, and only 3 were working days. In those 3 days, God moved mountains. Phil was able to contact an old friend who lives about 100 yards from our land. She is WONDERFUL!! She is a Mozambican citizen, and she is extremely intelligent and very well educated. She has offered to translate ALL of our documents that must be submitted to legalize our land. I can't share ALL of the details regarding how the process works, as we are afraid that if word gets out we are sharing information, they may not allow the processing to go through. What I CAN tell you is that we are about 2 months away from being able to build on our land!! As soon as all of the documents are approved, we will be able to submit our building plans and begin working towards raising the funds needed to build the first small building on the property, and then a permitter fence.
We are so incredibly fired up about this project now. We can't sit still!! We know God is in all of this, and we are willing to do whatever it takes to get back to Mozambique. We do have some exciting news...first, we will be traveling back to Mozambique, from September 15-27. Our goal is to have the first small building set up so our team can stay in it, and then our team will help in building the permitter fence. If you would like to join our team, we have room for about 6 more people. The cost is about $2500, which will cover flights, room and board, any ground transportation, and most meals. Please see our email address below to request an application.
And, there's more news!! We are willing to do what Jesus asked the rich man to do in the Gospels. If you haven't read the story, you can find it in Matthew 19:16-24. Basically, a rich man asked Jesus how he can get to Heaven, and Jesus tells him to give away everything he has to the poor, and then to come and follow Jesus. Phil & I know how that rich man feels. God has been telling us to give up everything and come follow HIM, and we keep making excuses that we haven't done enough here yet to be prepared to go. Honestly, it is something that I believe we have used as a crutch.
So, we have set a date to MOVE BACK TO MOZAMBIQUE!! We will leave by the beginning of January, of 2015!!! That is only 23 SHORT months away! We have a REAL sense of urgency to get moving. If you would like to partner with us and find out what you can do to help, you can find us on Facebook - facebook.com/HeartForTheNeedy, or email us at Heartfortheneedy@gmail.com.
Thank you for taking the time to read this crazy adventure that God has blessed us to be on!! And, here's to Africa! Here we COME!!
First, let me apologize this took so long. However, God has been moving greatly in our lives and we needed to spend some time praying and fasting before we addressed what God was telling us to tell the world, so to speak. Phil's journey was amazing. He had trouble in every stage of his trip. Apparently, South Africa has a new law, adopted in 2011, that any person who is NOT a citizen of the U.S. must have a transit Visa to even pass through their airport, even if you are not leaving the airport. (Phil only has a Green Card at this point, and we are getting ready to submit his application for U.S. Citizenship.)
Because of this new law, when Phil arrived on the first stop of his flight in London, they would not allow him to get on his flight to South Africa!! Thankfully, God intervened and the staff members were very kind and accommodating. They helped re-route Phil's flight through Kenya and then into the capital city of Mozambique, called Maputo.
Once Phil arrived in Maputo, he was able to stay with some friends until the remainder of his flight up to Nampula would be rebooked. (Nampula is about 865 miles from Maputo - a 15 hour bus trip!) Because Phil's original flight was re-routed, the airline in Mozambique refused to honor his ticket from Maputo to Nampula. He tried everything. He begged, he pleaded, he explained the reason why he had to get to Nampula. He even tried to get a bus ticket for the 2 day journey to his destination. No one wanted to listen. Satan was working over time to make sure Phil didn't get the land registered, so we could never get back to Mozambique, so we could never love those sweet kiddos who have no one to tuck them in at night or tell them, "I love you."
To put it nicely, it was a disaster. We spend hours on the phone between the two of us, getting the run around, (and then a huge phone bill!) and becoming very frustrated. But through it all, Phil kept his eye on the prize. If I said he was a trooper, that would be a HUGE understatement.
Finally, Phil expressed his frustration to a friend in Mozambique who lives in another city, not far from Maputo. We prayed for a door to be opened, and then, with one message to a good friend, the doors flew open! Our friend helped Phil get in touch with a person in a position of power and that person lead him to the director of the airline. Phil explained he had to get to Nampula to help get our land registered so we can open an orphanage. The gentlemen who helped him was so kind and receptive, he told Phil, "You won't pay another DIME to get on that flight tomorrow. You are here to help our people! It is the least we can do."
With that said, Phil's last bag FINALLY arrived (He lost all his bags when his flight was re-routed through Kenya) and he took off for Nampula the very next morning! And, the greatest blessing of all: he was able to get a transit Visa for South Africa while waiting in Maputo, so he could fly home through SA without ANY problems!!! God was so faithful the WHOLE time. Satan attacked and God continually crushed every attempt he made to ruin the trip for Phil. At that moment, Phil & I both felt God's presence in this project, and we will NEVER turn back.
Phil only got to spend 5 days in Nampula, and only 3 were working days. In those 3 days, God moved mountains. Phil was able to contact an old friend who lives about 100 yards from our land. She is WONDERFUL!! She is a Mozambican citizen, and she is extremely intelligent and very well educated. She has offered to translate ALL of our documents that must be submitted to legalize our land. I can't share ALL of the details regarding how the process works, as we are afraid that if word gets out we are sharing information, they may not allow the processing to go through. What I CAN tell you is that we are about 2 months away from being able to build on our land!! As soon as all of the documents are approved, we will be able to submit our building plans and begin working towards raising the funds needed to build the first small building on the property, and then a permitter fence.
We are so incredibly fired up about this project now. We can't sit still!! We know God is in all of this, and we are willing to do whatever it takes to get back to Mozambique. We do have some exciting news...first, we will be traveling back to Mozambique, from September 15-27. Our goal is to have the first small building set up so our team can stay in it, and then our team will help in building the permitter fence. If you would like to join our team, we have room for about 6 more people. The cost is about $2500, which will cover flights, room and board, any ground transportation, and most meals. Please see our email address below to request an application.
And, there's more news!! We are willing to do what Jesus asked the rich man to do in the Gospels. If you haven't read the story, you can find it in Matthew 19:16-24. Basically, a rich man asked Jesus how he can get to Heaven, and Jesus tells him to give away everything he has to the poor, and then to come and follow Jesus. Phil & I know how that rich man feels. God has been telling us to give up everything and come follow HIM, and we keep making excuses that we haven't done enough here yet to be prepared to go. Honestly, it is something that I believe we have used as a crutch.
So, we have set a date to MOVE BACK TO MOZAMBIQUE!! We will leave by the beginning of January, of 2015!!! That is only 23 SHORT months away! We have a REAL sense of urgency to get moving. If you would like to partner with us and find out what you can do to help, you can find us on Facebook - facebook.com/HeartForTheNeedy, or email us at Heartfortheneedy@gmail.com.
Thank you for taking the time to read this crazy adventure that God has blessed us to be on!! And, here's to Africa! Here we COME!!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Life is PRECIOUS
This has been a hard, sad week for my family and friends. I've never fully grasped or understood why children die, or why wonderful, kind, good people go to be with Jesus. I hate to think about it, to be honest. I know God has a plan and time for each of us to go home, but it seems like those amazing people who die young could have been used so much more in this crazy world.
I am encouraged that the Lord has it under control and I don't have a say in it anyhow so I shouldn't worry about it, right?! Well, easier said than done. When my sweet husband got a text message from a wonderful friend in Mozambique, I thought something very tragic had happened to his mother or one of his siblings. He has a sister in Nigeria who would be considered high risk in her pregnancy, and a sister-in-law in Chicago who is almost 35 weeks pregnant. I was certain either someone was in labor or something really awful had happened. I was right something awful had happened, just not what either of us would have expected.
Our dear friend Mike, in Mozambique, lost his little boy on Tuesday. He was somewhere around 4 years old. We never got to meet Saulomon. But from what Mike had told us, he was perfect.
Now that I'm a momma myself , it's really hard for me to stay emotionally calm. I'm crying as I write this. I've had to walk away and come back a few times. I just don't know how to make sense of what has gone on this week. I trust God with my finances, my own family and my own protection, but death and why it happens to a child is something I don't understand. I know we don't need to understand but we do have to grieve.
When we found out Mike had lost his son, only a few hours later, we found out that an amazing man, Dave, that had been missing had been found, lifeless. He was a part of our family for many years and we had lost touch for a few years. He had been a part of my church as a teenager, and he helped teach me and my best friend how to ski! He was an awesome guy who taught me a lot about life and what it meant to love God with all your being.
Dave let us subject him to torture when we would go to summer camp. We gave him a mohawk and dressed him up like a girl one year. He never stopped laughing, and he never stopped serving. He really was the picture of what God meant when He said to be His hands and feet.
I have to admit, I'm VERY emotional. I cry at commercials! But I have been so busy this week that each time I got heart breaking news, I had to pull myself together and figure out when to grieve, but later, not now. I'm finally home from Albuquerque (I had a training for my internship), I finished my class for the day, and I have some time to be by myself and reflect. The tears won't stop.
In the midst of all the saddness, I'm reminded that life is PRECIOUS. Period. End of story! We can not take each day as if we have hundreds more because it simply isn't true! And, don't forget to grieve. It's cleansing, healing, and it provides some kind of closure.
My contacts keep coming out and the tears won't seem to stop, so I'll end here. Just remember, nothing is guaranteed. Do what God has called you to do TODAY; forgive someone, rebuild a relationship, or for crying out loud, move to AFRICA ALREADY!! (We're working on it!)
I am encouraged that the Lord has it under control and I don't have a say in it anyhow so I shouldn't worry about it, right?! Well, easier said than done. When my sweet husband got a text message from a wonderful friend in Mozambique, I thought something very tragic had happened to his mother or one of his siblings. He has a sister in Nigeria who would be considered high risk in her pregnancy, and a sister-in-law in Chicago who is almost 35 weeks pregnant. I was certain either someone was in labor or something really awful had happened. I was right something awful had happened, just not what either of us would have expected.
Our dear friend Mike, in Mozambique, lost his little boy on Tuesday. He was somewhere around 4 years old. We never got to meet Saulomon. But from what Mike had told us, he was perfect.
Now that I'm a momma myself , it's really hard for me to stay emotionally calm. I'm crying as I write this. I've had to walk away and come back a few times. I just don't know how to make sense of what has gone on this week. I trust God with my finances, my own family and my own protection, but death and why it happens to a child is something I don't understand. I know we don't need to understand but we do have to grieve.
When we found out Mike had lost his son, only a few hours later, we found out that an amazing man, Dave, that had been missing had been found, lifeless. He was a part of our family for many years and we had lost touch for a few years. He had been a part of my church as a teenager, and he helped teach me and my best friend how to ski! He was an awesome guy who taught me a lot about life and what it meant to love God with all your being.
Dave let us subject him to torture when we would go to summer camp. We gave him a mohawk and dressed him up like a girl one year. He never stopped laughing, and he never stopped serving. He really was the picture of what God meant when He said to be His hands and feet.
I have to admit, I'm VERY emotional. I cry at commercials! But I have been so busy this week that each time I got heart breaking news, I had to pull myself together and figure out when to grieve, but later, not now. I'm finally home from Albuquerque (I had a training for my internship), I finished my class for the day, and I have some time to be by myself and reflect. The tears won't stop.
In the midst of all the saddness, I'm reminded that life is PRECIOUS. Period. End of story! We can not take each day as if we have hundreds more because it simply isn't true! And, don't forget to grieve. It's cleansing, healing, and it provides some kind of closure.
My contacts keep coming out and the tears won't seem to stop, so I'll end here. Just remember, nothing is guaranteed. Do what God has called you to do TODAY; forgive someone, rebuild a relationship, or for crying out loud, move to AFRICA ALREADY!! (We're working on it!)
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Preparing our minds
What a crazy week it has been. Pure. Exhaustion. School is now in full swing for all, which doesn't leave a lot of time for much else! But what I'm learning in school is making us ready to get to Mozambique in a hurry.
Philemon is working on his degree for safety management and I'm working on my Masters in clinical social work. I'm interning for the Children, Youth and Families Department here in Farmington, NM. I must say that this internship has already made me think twice and even three times about moving to Moazambique and working with children that have been traumatized SO severally.
The stories here that involve children and sexual abuse make me gag. My stomach turns to a pile of giant knots that continue to get tighter and tighter as I hear of the trauma some have survived. The extreme situations are even worse. Some parents have prostituted out their children for drugs. Some have sexually abused their children and violently caused physical harm as well. Some parents have left their toddlers alone to fend for themselves, in disgusting environments; many times, children are part of drug operations. And some have even killed their children.
I'm shocked at the things that go on in this area. Shock isn't really even the word. Disgusted. Horrified. Sickened. Outraged. The hate that I feel towards the things I have heard so far is great. But it is the need for change that motivates Philemon and I. If these things can be happening here, these things can happen anywhere. But the difference is that there aren't enough people in certain places to help. We know there are hundreds of thousands of organizations that have committed themselves to caring for hurting and abandoned adults and children. While the intentions are good, what is it doing?
This is how Heart for the Needy is different. It is not about having good intentions or wanting to help. The reason this organization exists is to change the future of the lives we come into contact with, and stop putting a band aide on the problems that we see and experience. I do not, by any stretch of the imagination, think we have all of the answers. But at the same time, I can't help but take notes from the few things I have seen that don't work.
I'm sure as the semester rolls on, I will learn how to help and understand the problems that plague our area. In essence, I'll be preparing for the rest of our lives. There's no time to waste! We both have so much to do, so much to learn, and so much to understand. But then again, we were made for such a time as this!
Blessings,
Phil & Laura
P.S. By the way - if anyone would like to join our Board of Directors, let us know at heartfortheneedy@gmail.com.www.facebook.com/laura.olaniyi
Philemon is working on his degree for safety management and I'm working on my Masters in clinical social work. I'm interning for the Children, Youth and Families Department here in Farmington, NM. I must say that this internship has already made me think twice and even three times about moving to Moazambique and working with children that have been traumatized SO severally.
The stories here that involve children and sexual abuse make me gag. My stomach turns to a pile of giant knots that continue to get tighter and tighter as I hear of the trauma some have survived. The extreme situations are even worse. Some parents have prostituted out their children for drugs. Some have sexually abused their children and violently caused physical harm as well. Some parents have left their toddlers alone to fend for themselves, in disgusting environments; many times, children are part of drug operations. And some have even killed their children.
I'm shocked at the things that go on in this area. Shock isn't really even the word. Disgusted. Horrified. Sickened. Outraged. The hate that I feel towards the things I have heard so far is great. But it is the need for change that motivates Philemon and I. If these things can be happening here, these things can happen anywhere. But the difference is that there aren't enough people in certain places to help. We know there are hundreds of thousands of organizations that have committed themselves to caring for hurting and abandoned adults and children. While the intentions are good, what is it doing?
This is how Heart for the Needy is different. It is not about having good intentions or wanting to help. The reason this organization exists is to change the future of the lives we come into contact with, and stop putting a band aide on the problems that we see and experience. I do not, by any stretch of the imagination, think we have all of the answers. But at the same time, I can't help but take notes from the few things I have seen that don't work.
I'm sure as the semester rolls on, I will learn how to help and understand the problems that plague our area. In essence, I'll be preparing for the rest of our lives. There's no time to waste! We both have so much to do, so much to learn, and so much to understand. But then again, we were made for such a time as this!
Blessings,
Phil & Laura
P.S. By the way - if anyone would like to join our Board of Directors, let us know at heartfortheneedy@gmail.com.www.facebook.com/laura.olaniyi
Sunday, September 2, 2012
The End of Another Summer!
I honestly can NOT believe it's the first day of September! How is this even possible?! We had a fabulous summer, full of different surprises in so many different ways. We started out our summer with the Taste of Durango; we painted faces with the First Baptist Church here in Durango. From about 12pm-3pm on that Sunday afternoon, my mom and I didn't MOVE out of our face paintin' chairs! Our booties were glued to the seats! It was a ton of work but seeing those sweet kiddos leave with fun creations on their cheeks was so worth every minute!
We spent some time in June in the Grand Junciton area, participating in the River Run for Orphans. There are now many differtent races all over the country and we were really blessed by our time in Grand Junction. Talking about this project gives us such joy and excitement! We really are 'people people,' and love meeting and hearing the stories of others that have similar hearts to ours.
June was also very exciting as I had decided through lots of prayer and conversations with my hubby that I really want to go back to school to persue my Masters in clincial social work, in order to prepare for many similar situations we will see in Mozambique. I found a very affordable program through New Mexico Highlands University, with a branch right in good ol' Farmington! I also found out the end of June that I had been selected for a scholarship through the CYFD (Children, Youth, and Family Department) office of San Juan County! They pay for school, books, transportation, daycare and many other things. We are so inredibly grateful that God showed us why we are in Farmington, especially for me. It made me realize how many resources I have at my fingertips, and that I can really prepare for what Mozambique will have in store for us. I've also learned that God's promise is to direct our paths. If we ask where He wants us to go, He will figure out the 'how' and the 'when' logistics.
We spent most of July trying to beat the heat and enjoying some AMAZING peaches from our tree in the back yard. Philemon worked an average of 70 hours per week and managed to keep up with his school work! He's currently working on his safety management degree so we can transfer with his company to Africa. I'm so thankful for the opportunities we both have received this year! We really
are exactly where we need to be and our doubts about what our purpose is in Farmington have slowly subsided.
August was a very busy month and it seemed to fly right passed us. We both started our classes and also have an internship 2 days a week. My job wasn't able to accommodate such a busy schedule so I'm no longer working. At first I was worried about our financial stability, but after only one week of being at home part time with Jadon, God clearly knew that I would worry. He showed me this scripture:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways
acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3: 5 - 6.
I have always loved Proverbs. It's an amazing book of life advice! I almost feel like I'm having a conversation with Jesus when I study Proverbs. This verse has popped up several times over the last few days and each time, I was thinking about things that were slowly turning into worries. But God knows exactly what our family needs! He knows the path and the plans he has for us so I have to rest in His peace and love.
There is a lot stirring within us right now. We are so anxious to start making physical improvements on this project but we also know God has a way - He has a plan! Philemon is going to Mozambique in October to pave the way, so to speak. There are many specific things he must put in place and he only has a limited amount of time to do them. Please pray with us as we begin to ask God to reveal the best way to get paperwork rushed so that we can begin building.
Of course, as always, traveling half way around the world is costly but we don't worry about the cost because we know God has ALWAYS provided. We have spent too much time on this Earth worrying and not enough time doing. It is a lesson we have learned and now it is time to trust!
We will be praying and fasting every Friday before Philemon's trip to Mozambique. We are praying that God will reveal Himself and His will in this project. We would love any support, so feel free to join in the prayers or fasting or both as we seek God.
Blessings!
Phil & Laura
We spent some time in June in the Grand Junciton area, participating in the River Run for Orphans. There are now many differtent races all over the country and we were really blessed by our time in Grand Junction. Talking about this project gives us such joy and excitement! We really are 'people people,' and love meeting and hearing the stories of others that have similar hearts to ours.
June was also very exciting as I had decided through lots of prayer and conversations with my hubby that I really want to go back to school to persue my Masters in clincial social work, in order to prepare for many similar situations we will see in Mozambique. I found a very affordable program through New Mexico Highlands University, with a branch right in good ol' Farmington! I also found out the end of June that I had been selected for a scholarship through the CYFD (Children, Youth, and Family Department) office of San Juan County! They pay for school, books, transportation, daycare and many other things. We are so inredibly grateful that God showed us why we are in Farmington, especially for me. It made me realize how many resources I have at my fingertips, and that I can really prepare for what Mozambique will have in store for us. I've also learned that God's promise is to direct our paths. If we ask where He wants us to go, He will figure out the 'how' and the 'when' logistics.
We spent most of July trying to beat the heat and enjoying some AMAZING peaches from our tree in the back yard. Philemon worked an average of 70 hours per week and managed to keep up with his school work! He's currently working on his safety management degree so we can transfer with his company to Africa. I'm so thankful for the opportunities we both have received this year! We really
are exactly where we need to be and our doubts about what our purpose is in Farmington have slowly subsided.
August was a very busy month and it seemed to fly right passed us. We both started our classes and also have an internship 2 days a week. My job wasn't able to accommodate such a busy schedule so I'm no longer working. At first I was worried about our financial stability, but after only one week of being at home part time with Jadon, God clearly knew that I would worry. He showed me this scripture:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways
acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3: 5 - 6.
I have always loved Proverbs. It's an amazing book of life advice! I almost feel like I'm having a conversation with Jesus when I study Proverbs. This verse has popped up several times over the last few days and each time, I was thinking about things that were slowly turning into worries. But God knows exactly what our family needs! He knows the path and the plans he has for us so I have to rest in His peace and love.
There is a lot stirring within us right now. We are so anxious to start making physical improvements on this project but we also know God has a way - He has a plan! Philemon is going to Mozambique in October to pave the way, so to speak. There are many specific things he must put in place and he only has a limited amount of time to do them. Please pray with us as we begin to ask God to reveal the best way to get paperwork rushed so that we can begin building.
Of course, as always, traveling half way around the world is costly but we don't worry about the cost because we know God has ALWAYS provided. We have spent too much time on this Earth worrying and not enough time doing. It is a lesson we have learned and now it is time to trust!
We will be praying and fasting every Friday before Philemon's trip to Mozambique. We are praying that God will reveal Himself and His will in this project. We would love any support, so feel free to join in the prayers or fasting or both as we seek God.
Blessings!
Phil & Laura
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