Alone

The smell of bleach was very evident as the attendant wheeled me into the maternity ward. The fumes captured my senses and shocked me back to reality. It was time and now I'd have to actually do it. I would have to get this baby out. 

The small room had 2 beds with plastic covered mattresses and a curtain in between. A small fridge sat on top of a little stool, and a desk full of random items sat near the door. That was it. My expectations going in were pretty low, so I wasn't surprised.

Men are never allowed in the maternity ward because unless you have money (about $50-$100) there's no private room. There was only a big room with about 8 beds. There were 5 other women in that crowded room, crying out in pain. And they were each laboring, crying, pushing, and enduring excruciating pain alone. ALL ALONE. 

A few of the essentials I take with me. 

I had a relatively good experience giving birth to Josephine here. It was fast & only difficult the last few minutes. I had my husband there despite arguing with 2 doctors, and if he hadn't been, I would've likely had Josephine on the floor. But something still haunts me about that day. All the women who couldn't afford a private room had to do it ALONE. And then I saw it happen again a few weeks ago.

I started visiting a local clinic that most of our neighborhood goes to when ill, and all of the women in our area have their babies at this clinic as well. I brought some practical gifts with me to give to each lady - soap, a wash cloth, snacks, and a few other essentials. 

The nurse told me there was a lady in labor and she'd like me to visit if I wouldn't mind going in, as she was naked. I said yes, of course. And when I went in, it was the same thing over again: a woman lying on a plastic mattress on a table made for giving birth, going through the most awful pain you could ever imagine, all ALONE.  

I cry when I think back to that moment. I remember when in labor with both kids, there was a moment BOTH times that I felt like this is it - I'm going to die. I can't do this, it hurts so much and I can't take anymore pain. But both times, I had someone there reminding me I wasn't going to die, praying over me, and telling me I could do it. The fear set in on both occasions but having that voice of reason there to remind me that: "HEY!! You CAN do this and you WILL finish it and you WON'T die!" was all the reassurance I needed. 

Our little warrior!

My heart aches for the women who give birth alone everywhere in the world. My heart cries out for each of them to feel comforted by God. I know that God can be their comfort. He will be with them no matter the situation.  

I also want to do my part. I didn't necessarily want to sit with a woman I didn't know (and then pray with her because she asked me to) but I did it anyway. I've given birth twice but I've never watched anyone else give birth. I was a little terrified but more than anything I felt her pain and I was scared for her - why should anyone go through that alone? 

While some of this is cultural (men never go with their wives to give birth), I don't see why women can't have a trusted friend, mom, neighbor, etc. while they are in labor. Many of my neighbors who have given birth recently said they don't have anyone who can go with them. 

The nurses at the clinic are also incredibly overwhelmed. When I arrived last week, the head nurse, Paula, said they had over 25 women that night come in and give birth! She said they were pushing people to go home once they were okay and had regained a little strength. The hospital only has 20 beds so I have no idea how 25 worked out...and I probably don't want to know!

I wanted to do my own part to let these ladies know they are loved. Once a week I take these small gifts with me and visit ladies who've just given birth, or they're just getting started. One lady was just a child - 15 years old. Another had twin boys at home. The smallest woman I'd ever seen had a baby that weighed in over 9lbs!! 

The ladies I've had the pleasure to meet have been curious as to why someone would want them to know they are loved and they are not alone. And that open door of curiosity has led to great conversations. I don't think they know how much they've encouraged me to keep going. And I hope our visit reminds them that they'll never be alone.  

P.S. These little packages cost about $5 to make for each lady. I take about 10-15 each week with me. If you'd like to help make a package, send $5 to heartfortheneedy@gmail.com via PayPal! You can even include a little note from you that I can include with the package. As always - it's tax deductible!