Delete.
"This has been an awesome month of progress!"
Delete again.
These are the only sentences my fingers have been able to type for the last month or so. My hands and my mind refuse to work together with my heart. Until now, I didn't really want to explain what has been on my heart for some time. But I think it's time.
My heart is so heavy with grief and I think we need to have some real conversations about what is going on in this world. Whether a first world, developing or 3rd world country, we can't move an inch without hearing about another tragedy and another and another. And after each one, these are the common themes I see coming to life: Shaming. Blaming. Lots of talking. Very little listening.
I can't blame these reactions on anything specific because then I would just be part of the problem. This type of behavior has been YEARS in the making. We've become a culture that is quick to judge, quick to speak, and slow to study, contemplate and listen. We, as a culture, have encouraged free expression without cautioning our society of the consequences of speaking without listening and considering the other side.
Social media has also become a means of expressing ourselves without considering the consequences of our harsh, judgmental, neatly-typed words that don't have to be spoken to anyone's face. We simply sit back and wait for people to respond on their tiny screens, using their tiny keyboards, and often replacing their conscience with their mouthy, know-it-all-13-year-old self.
Seriously. I've met so many experts recently: gun law experts, LGBTQI+ experts, zoo experts, gorilla advocates (for those in captivity, anyway), child abuse advocates, child welfare system experts & advocates, Islamic religious experts, rape experts, black history experts, criminal & anthropological experts, psychological and social experts, parental experts, moral and religious experts, alligator scientists, child behavior experts, Disney World lawyers, and the worst shaming and blaming experts of our time.
When I see people behaving this way my mind raises with questions, like: How can you hatefully comment on social media about something you know nothing about? If you're not a parent, how in the world do you know anything about parenting, much less how a child can disappear right before your eyes in an instant? How can you comment about rape and someone else's body when you have never been victimized? How can you say there is no such thing as white privilege when you haven't lived in the skin of a person of color? Do you even have any friends of color? How can you be infuriated by one religious group when you don't even know the violent history of your own religion? How can you constantly point out the speck in everyone else's eye and ignore the plank in your own?
The simple answer is this: social media has allowed all of us to be free of the consequences of what we speak behind our little devices, so we say things we would rarely, if ever, say to someone's face. We don't have to be accountable to anyone or anything, and we don't have to stop & listen before we respond.
So what do we do? I'm not sure what the correct answer is. All I knows is THIS has to STOP.
We can't grow and move our world forward toward peace when we are quick to point fingers, quick to get into arguments and quick to berate a person or group of people based on the actions of one or few.
Let's do something different. Let's do the opposite of what social-media-land (and regular media - don't even get me started!) tells us to do. Let's stop having online arguments and get back to in-person, one on one time. Let's stop plastering every opinion we have all over every outlet we can find, and start having discussions with one another. Let's start learning something new and let go of our desire to constantly be right. Let's remember that some people have experienced AWFUL hurt at the hands of people who claimed to stand for something good, and their experiences have shaped the person they have become. We should be quick to offer grace and not judgment, to offer a listening ear and an open heart.
Let me put it this way: Jesus hung out with just about anyone - the low life's of the world, the arrogant religious leaders, prostitutes, tax collectors and everything in between. There was no one too big or too small to be in the presence of our humble Savior. He never demanded they change, but Jesus' personal influence in their lives was a major contributing factor for many of them to make changes. And the RELATIONSHIP with Jesus started it all.
For example, my best friend, Jessie, has always been an amazing athlete. Anytime I hang out with her, even now, I always go home feeling more inspired and motivated to eat better, exercise more and take better care of myself as a whole. My relationship with her is so real that she can tell me like it is and it's not a problem. We can be real with each other because we have built a trusting relationship and I know she has my best interests at heart and vice versa. We relate on a trust level that I don't have with many people - and because of that trust, we can call each other out when we're wrong and we can advise each other out of love and not selfish motives.
So I'm taking a note from Jesus on this one: it's about relationships. Our electronic lives have taken a lot of personal face to face time away from us, and it's more important than ever that we use this as a turning point and get back to making relationships a priority.
I'm committing to this - to get back to creating connections the old-fashioned way - in person. We can spread a whole lot more love and truth through relationships than by fueling a destructive fire online that seeks to kill and destroy the hearts of those who have been unfairly judged by people who don't have their best interests at heart.
Or, maybe this is just a lot of rambling. Either way, my heart feels lighter.
Peace be with you All,
Phil, Laura and Jadon, too
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